IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in Newport city centre from 2003 to 2012.

The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in Newport city centre from 2003 to 2012.
#changes #place #three #areas #crime #newport #city #centre
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The line graph presents information on changes that
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
among
Change preposition
in
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 crimes like burglary, car theft,
robbery
Correct word choice
and robbery
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 in three different territories in Newport city centre in 9
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
incidents
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 burglary fell significantly between 2003 and 2012,
whereas
Linking Words
 car theft and robbery fluctuated over the
years
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, but kept relatively the same
number
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 as at the start. From 2003 to 2004, the
number
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 of
burglary
Change to a plural noun
burglaries
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 reached its peak at 4000, following
wich
Correct your spelling
which
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 it surged down during the next four
years
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. The
number
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 declined to approximately 1200
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
incidents
Use synonyms
 by 2008. After that, a minor fluctuation
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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started, so in 2012 the
number
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 of burglaries was
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nearly at the same level as in 2004.
Started
Wrong verb form
Starting
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 at about 2700
incidents
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, car theft has kept the same level for the next 2
years
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, when it fell to just above 2000
incidents
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. Following that, it
remained
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fluctuating
Replace the word
fluctuated
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, keeping at nearly the same level for the next 6
years
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. Just as a robbery over the 9
years
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, continued slightly oscillating, reaching 2012 with nearly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
number
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 of about 600
incidents
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by katenok200312 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, number, incidents with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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