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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

. Some people believe that children should be involved in making their school\'s rules. Others say that only adults should make the school\'s rules. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Establishing effective school regulations is a significant challenge that generates diverse opinions about the extent to which
students
Use synonyms
 should participate in
this
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 process.
This
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 essay will analyze both viewpoints and present my perspective on the matter. On one hand, involving
students
Use synonyms
 in the formulation of school rules promotes a sense of ownership and accountability among them. When children are granted the opportunity to contribute to the establishment of guidelines, they are more likely to respect and comply with these regulations, which can foster a more harmonious school environment.
For example
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, when
students
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 participate in discussions about
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 expectations or disciplinary actions, they are more inclined to embrace these rules as they feel their voices matter.
Additionally
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,
this
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 participation cultivates vital skills
such
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 as critical thinking, collaboration, and civic engagement, preparing them for future responsibilities.
On the other hand
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, adults typically possess a more profound expertise regarding educational frameworks and the nuances of rule-making. Their extensive experience equips them to address multifaceted school-related challenges and formulate guidelines that consider a broader range of implications.
For instance
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, teachers and administrators understand the diverse needs of the student population and can create rules that ensure fairness and safety for all individuals. Involving parents and educational professionals in the decision-making process may lead to more efficient and pragmatic regulations that children, in their limited experience, might overlook. In conclusion,
although
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 I contend that adults should predominantly direct the rule-making process
due to
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 their acquired knowledge and expertise, it remains essential to encourage children to express their opinions.
Such
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 engagement not only allows
students
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 to appreciate the significance of their input but
also
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 nurtures a sense of responsibility, thereby empowering them to advocate for themselves and their peers effectively.

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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task and provides a balanced discussion of both views on the topic. However, including more specific examples would add depth to your arguments and make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay displays a coherent structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that cover distinct points, and a strong conclusion. Ensure every paragraph links smoothly to the next one, enhancing the overall flow of your writing.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is succinct and sets the stage effectively by outlining the topic and the structure of the essay.
supported main points
Main points are well-supported with explanations, which demonstrates your ability to develop ideas coherently.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion ties up the discussion neatly and reinforces your position, providing a satisfying closure to the essay.
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