IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that everyone has the right to have access to university education, and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#people #right #access #university #education #governments #students #matter #background
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
As tuition fees have been inexorably increasing in recent years, the affordability of higher education has always been a topic of interest. It is argued that the government should abolish lyceum charge fees, irrespective of students' socioeconomic background.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 thinking is valid to a certain extent, I believe that waiving expenditure would have an adverse bearing on both admission and society.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are a plethora of compelling reasons why enlistment should be admissible to pursue lyceum without fees. On the individual level, bachelor's degree holders, especially the underprivileged, will stand a better chance of landing a higher-paid office and bettering their life quality.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, on the societal level, a surge in the gross enrollment rate, prompted by a free association policy, would give rise to a more educated workforce.
This
Linking Words
 acts as a precursor to not only a thriving economy
on the contrary
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 a civilized society.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the USA Harvard University, there are many tuition reduction programs for good admission
whereas
Linking Words
 those learners do not have abundance ability to access the academy.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, despite the aforementioned benefits, I would contend that the provision of free-of-charge higher education, in fact, can do both the beneficiaries and society a disservice. The impact of more college graduates on employment is questionable at best. The business market has become immensely competitive as it is, even for job seekers with college qualifications.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if everyone is entitled to university, it is no longer feasible for them to find a career, let alone the financial abundance previously
consequently
Linking Words
 frequently associated with the acquisition of a tertiary degree.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, the enormous cost incurred to cover higher education expenditure will put a strain on government coffers, leading to budget deficits, tax hikes, or reduced welfare among others.
For example
Linking Words
, in India
due to
Linking Words
 the reduction in schooling prices, the government's budgets have been missing leading to economic inflation. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 the potential benefits of educational institution charge waivers make it seem like a good idea, I believe that the authorities should not make it free for everyone.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay introduces the main argument clearly and your position on the topic is evident throughout. However, some ideas need further elaboration and explanation.
task achievement
Work on providing more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and will strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-organized, but try to ensure each paragraph focuses on a single clear idea or argument. Some sentences are complex and could be simplified for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance the logical flow of your essay. Use connectors and linking phrases more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are strong and clearly present the main idea and your stance on the topic. This is good for maintaining clarity.
task achievement
The essay touches on various relevant aspects of the given topic, indicating a comprehensive approach to the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Higher education
  • Accessibility
  • Social mobility
  • Meritocracy
  • Economic growth
  • Equality
  • Subsidize
  • Fiscal sustainability
  • Human capital
  • Incentivize
  • Underfunded
  • Tuition fees
  • Academic achievement
  • Workforce
  • Tax burden
What to do next:
Look at other essays: