Pollution around the world is becoming a serious problem. Do you think this is a problem that should be solved internationally or at a local level?

#pollution #world #level

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Nowadays people are concerned about various global problems and

pollution

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is one of these. More and more waste is produced all over the world by society

leads

Wrong verb form

leading

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to the

pollution

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of our planet.

Hence

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, I am convinced that

this

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obstacle should be solved at the international level. First of all, air

pollution

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has a very negative effect on our health. Not only can man-made but

also

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natural causes be. Regarding the former, burning fossil fuels,

such

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as coal or oil, releases high amounts of carbon into the atmosphere.

Moreover

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, having been spread in many countries, the industrial sector accounts for a fairly large portion of greenhouse emissions.

In addition

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, no matter how much air

pollution

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a country produces, it has an impact on

overall

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air quality.

For example

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, when there was a Chornobyl accident, not only were surrounded territories but even neighbourhood countries affected.

Therefore

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pollution

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issues should be of equal concern to everyone. It is water

pollution

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that is

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another rising problem. It can come from a variety of sources. One of the reasons can be plants and factories that illegally dump waste.

Furthermore

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, large amounts of trash are dumped into the oceans, and

as a result

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, many animals suffer afterwards.

Besides

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such

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kind of

pollution

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can lead to global castoff.

For example

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, if any harmful chemicals get into the groundwater,

then

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drinking water could be poisoned and many people could be injured. To sum it up, environmental

pollution

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is a critical global problem that affects our environment. I believe that joint international efforts are needed to reduce harmful emissions, regulate waste disposal and protect natural resources.

Submitted by Sidorovanaoks on Mon Sep 30 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to make the structure even more coherent.

task achievement

Although your ideas are comprehensive, you could use a few more specific examples or statistical data to strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear and logical structure, which makes it easy to follow.

coherence cohesion

You have an effective introduction and conclusion, rounding out your essay well.

task achievement

Your main points are well-supported with explanations, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Your response covers multiple aspects of the pollution issue and provides a well-reasoned argument for international efforts.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Pollution around the world is becoming a serious problem. Do you think this is a problem that should be solved internationally or at a local level?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing What do you think are the main causes of crime How can we deal with those causes

The top priority of businesses is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think it is more beneficial to play sports that are played in teams, e.g. football. Some people think individual sports e.g. tennis and swimming are better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that cultural traditions are destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe that this is the only way to save such traditions in the world today. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?