Pollution around the world is becoming a serious problem. Do you think this is a problem that should be solved internationally or at a local level?

Nowadays people are concerned about various global problems and
pollution
is one of these. More and more waste is produced all over the world by society
leads
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
to the
pollution
of our planet.
Hence
, I am convinced that
this
obstacle should be solved at the international level. First of all, air
pollution
has a very negative effect on our health. Not only can man-made but
also
natural causes be. Regarding the former, burning fossil fuels,
such
as coal or oil, releases high amounts of carbon into the atmosphere.
Moreover
, having been spread in many countries, the industrial sector accounts for a fairly large portion of greenhouse emissions.
In addition
, no matter how much air
pollution
a country produces, it has an impact on
overall
air quality.
For example
, when there was a Chornobyl accident, not only were surrounded territories but even neighbourhood countries affected.
Therefore
,
pollution
issues should be of equal concern to everyone. It is water
pollution
that is
another rising problem. It can come from a variety of sources. One of the reasons can be plants and factories that illegally dump waste.
Furthermore
, large amounts of trash are dumped into the oceans, and
as a result
, many animals suffer afterwards.
Besides
,
such
kind of
pollution
can lead to global castoff.
For example
, if any harmful chemicals get into the groundwater,
then
drinking water could be poisoned and many people could be injured. To sum it up, environmental
pollution
is a critical global problem that affects our environment. I believe that joint international efforts are needed to reduce harmful emissions, regulate waste disposal and protect natural resources.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to make the structure even more coherent.
task achievement
Although your ideas are comprehensive, you could use a few more specific examples or statistical data to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, which makes it easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
You have an effective introduction and conclusion, rounding out your essay well.
task achievement
Your main points are well-supported with explanations, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your response covers multiple aspects of the pollution issue and provides a well-reasoned argument for international efforts.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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