Topic: Some people believe that it is good for a country to host a major sports competition. Others think it causes many problems for the country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#topic #people #country #host #sports #competition

The indisputable meaning of athletics in general has long been believed related to

human’s

Change noun form

human

show examples

bonding and connectedness.

However

, a recent backlash about the polarization of whether the establishment of major

sports

competitions could provide any advantages, or

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

impact detrimentally to their

host

countries. In

this

essay, I will discuss both perspectives and emphasize

Change preposition

apply

show examples

my personal interpretation.

Sports

tournaments, though ostentatious, convey myriads of disadvantages to the

host

country. Conspicuously, conducting events and

championship

Fix the agreement mistake

championships

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sports

specifically, needs the establishment of infrastructure and the witnesses of audiences.

Thus

, the unimaginable monetary cost, the reduction of raw materials, and the emission of detrimental gasses,

such

as CO2, by

transportations

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transportation

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is inevitable.

Consequently

affecting

Wrong verb form

this affects

show examples

not only the availability of resources,

Correct word choice

but conversely

show examples

conversely

Rephrase

also

show examples

aggravating

Wrong verb form

aggravates

show examples

the contentious issues of Global Warming and air pollution.

Furthermore

, the celebration of the audience and the potential traffic jams

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

also

exacerbated the noise pollution status. Despite the propounded drawbacks, there are myriads of optimism toward

such

competitions.

Firstly

, the potential profit from

such

events

were

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was

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monumental and voluntarily occurred,

thus

contributing efficiently to the

host

country’s economy.

Secondly

while

the overabundance of

nourishments

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nourishment

show examples

is obvious nowadays, obesity has

consequently

rising

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risen

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, detrimentally affecting our population's well-being.

However

, the encouragement from

sports

events could encourage and motivate humans to work out, establishing a healthier vogue

Change preposition

show examples

the

host

country.

Moreover

, entertainment is essential to one’s mental and physical well-being,

thus

, by encouraging witnesses and viewers, exhaustively increasing their productivity. Ultimately,

while

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

there are numerous disadvantages to the

establishments

Fix the agreement mistake

establishment

show examples

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

competitions

such

as numerous forms of pollution and the depletion of materials. I believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages as the profits of both health and monetary are emphasized.

Submitted by bendy.anhle on Wed May 15 2024

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task achievement

You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion which is good. However, the main body paragraphs could be expanded with more specific and relevant examples to make your argument stronger.

coherence cohesion

While you have logical points, the essay would benefit from better coherence. Try to ensure smooth transitions between points and paragraphs to enhance the flow.

task achievement

Your introduction and conclusion clearly frame your discussion, which is a strong point.

task achievement

The essay covers both viewpoints as required, which shows a clear understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The structure of the essay is generally logical and well-organized.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic: Some people believe that it is good for a country to host a major sports competition. Others think it causes many problems for the country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

The two floor plans show the renovation of AAA Accountancy's main office. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people say that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Computer and AI technology are incresingly being used for online education.Can artifictial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development.