Topic: Some people believe that it is good for a country to host a major sports competition. Others think it causes many problems for the country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#topic #people #country #host #sports #competition

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The indisputable meaning of athletics in general has long been believed related to

human’s

Change noun form

human

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bonding and connectedness.

However

Linking Words

, a recent backlash about the polarization of whether the establishment of major

sports

Use synonyms

competitions could provide any advantages, or

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

impact detrimentally to their

host

Use synonyms

countries. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both perspectives and emphasize

Change preposition

apply

show examples

my personal interpretation.

Sports

Use synonyms

tournaments, though ostentatious, convey myriads of disadvantages to the

host

Use synonyms

country. Conspicuously, conducting events and

championship

Fix the agreement mistake

championships

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

specifically, needs the establishment of infrastructure and the witnesses of audiences.

Thus

Linking Words

, the unimaginable monetary cost, the reduction of raw materials, and the emission of detrimental gasses,

such

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as CO2, by

transportations

Fix the agreement mistake

transportation

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is inevitable.

Consequently

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affecting

Wrong verb form

this affects

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not only the availability of resources,

Linking Words

Correct word choice

but conversely

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conversely

Rephrase

also

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aggravating

Wrong verb form

aggravates

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the contentious issues of Global Warming and air pollution.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the celebration of the audience and the potential traffic jams

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

also

Linking Words

exacerbated the noise pollution status. Despite the propounded drawbacks, there are myriads of optimism toward

such

Linking Words

competitions.

Firstly

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, the potential profit from

such

Linking Words

events

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

monumental and voluntarily occurred,

thus

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contributing efficiently to the

host

Use synonyms

country’s economy.

Secondly

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while

Linking Words

the overabundance of

nourishments

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nourishment

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is obvious nowadays, obesity has

consequently

Linking Words

rising

Change the verb form

risen

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, detrimentally affecting our population's well-being.

However

Linking Words

, the encouragement from

sports

Use synonyms

events could encourage and motivate humans to work out, establishing a healthier vogue

Change preposition

show examples

the

host

Use synonyms

country.

Moreover

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, entertainment is essential to one’s mental and physical well-being,

thus

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, by encouraging witnesses and viewers, exhaustively increasing their productivity. Ultimately,

Linking Words

while

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

there are numerous disadvantages to the

establishments

Fix the agreement mistake

establishment

show examples

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

competitions

such

Linking Words

as numerous forms of pollution and the depletion of materials. I believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages as the profits of both health and monetary are emphasized.

Submitted by bendy.anhle on Wed May 15 2024

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task achievement

You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion which is good. However, the main body paragraphs could be expanded with more specific and relevant examples to make your argument stronger.

coherence cohesion

While you have logical points, the essay would benefit from better coherence. Try to ensure smooth transitions between points and paragraphs to enhance the flow.

task achievement

Your introduction and conclusion clearly frame your discussion, which is a strong point.

task achievement

The essay covers both viewpoints as required, which shows a clear understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The structure of the essay is generally logical and well-organized.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Topic: Some people believe that it is good for a country to host a major sports competition. Others think it causes many problems for the country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but put are in nurse homes or care homes. What are the advantages or disadvantages of this trend?

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

some people think increasing the cost of fuel is the best way to solve global problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree