Some people believe that it is good for a country to host a major sports competition. Others think it causes many problems for the country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #country #host #sports #competition

The indisputable meaning of athletics in general has long been believed related to

human’s

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human

show examples

bonding and connectedness.

However

, a recent backlash about the polarization of whether the establishment of major

sports

competitions could provide any advantages, or

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

impact detrimentally to their

host

countries. In

this

essay, I will discuss both perspectives and emphasize

Change preposition

apply

show examples

my personal interpretation.

Sports

tournaments, though ostentatious, convey myriads of disadvantages to the

host

country. Conspicuously, conducting events and

championship

Fix the agreement mistake

championships

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sports

specifically, needs the establishment of infrastructure and the witnesses of audiences.

Thus

, the unimaginable monetary cost, the reduction of raw materials, and the emission of detrimental gasses,

such

as CO2, by

transportations

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transportation

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is inevitable.

Consequently

affecting

Wrong verb form

this affects

show examples

not only the availability of resources,

Correct word choice

but conversely

show examples

conversely

Rephrase

also

show examples

aggravating

Wrong verb form

aggravates

show examples

the contentious issues of Global Warming and air pollution.

Furthermore

, the celebration of the audience and the potential traffic jams

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

also

exacerbated the noise pollution status. Despite the propounded drawbacks, there are myriads of optimism toward

such

competitions.

Firstly

, the potential profit from

such

events

were

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was

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monumental and voluntarily occurred,

thus

contributing efficiently to the

host

country’s economy.

Secondly

while

the overabundance of

nourishments

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nourishment

show examples

is obvious nowadays, obesity has

consequently

rising

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risen

show examples

, detrimentally affecting our population's well-being.

However

, the encouragement from

sports

events could encourage and motivate humans to work out, establishing a healthier vogue

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show examples

the

host

country.

Moreover

, entertainment is essential to one’s mental and physical well-being,

thus

, by encouraging witnesses and viewers, exhaustively increasing their productivity. Ultimately,

while

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

there are numerous disadvantages to the

establishments

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establishment

show examples

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

competitions

such

as numerous forms of pollution and the depletion of materials. I believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages as the profits of both health and monetary are emphasized.

Submitted by bendy.anhle on Wed May 15 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a good discussion of both views and presents a clear opinion. However, some points are not fully elaborated. For example, while you mention the economic benefits and health encouragement, these points could be made more specific and supported with concrete examples.

task achievement

There are some issues with sentence structure and word choice that can affect clarity. For instance, 'consequently rising' should be 'consequently rising'. Ensure your sentences are clear and grammatically correct to improve readability.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetition in your writing. For instance, the word 'detrimentally' is used multiple times. Try to use synonyms or rephrase to maintain reader's interest and enhance the richness of your vocabulary.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smooth transitions between points. While your essay is mostly well-structured, some ideas do not flow as smoothly as they could. Using linking words and phrases can help improve this aspect.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction sets a clear context for the essay and presents the topic well. This helps the reader understand what to expect from your discussion.

introduction conclusion present

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and states your opinion clearly. This provides a strong end to your essay.

complete response

You present both sides of the argument and provide a balanced view, which is essential for a discussion essay. This shows good task achievement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that it is good for a country to host a major sports competition. Others think it causes many problems for the country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreighn language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe, more actions can be taken to prevent crime, while others think that little can be done.

In spite of the advance made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be down about this problem?

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Other believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way

Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes, such as a robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?