Some people see sports only as a leisure activity, while others believe sports play a more important role. Discuss both views and give your option.

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Sports
Use synonyms
play an inevitable role in our mental and physical health. The major reasons for
this
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involve personal development
as well as
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career benefits. In
this
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essay, we will discuss people's opinions regarding
sports
Use synonyms
as a leisure
activity
Use synonyms
versus its significance in our lives.
Firstly
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,
sports
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have always served as a leisure
activity
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since the birth of humanity. People enjoy
sports
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as a recreational
activity
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to unwind and socialize with peer groups.
This
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can be clearly seen in working individuals participating in
sports
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after their 9 to 5 jobs.
Furthermore
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, it has always remained a stress relief for both females and males, irrespective of their age group.
For example
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, observing women over 40 playing badminton is an evident example of
this
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.
On the other hand
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,
sports
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cannot be solely referred to as an
activity
Use synonyms
for enjoyment; it contributes significantly to our well-being. Particularly in the realm of fitness, a survey conducted by the University of Calicut concluded that people who regularly engage in gym activities have better mental and physical health compared to others.
Additionally
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, it serves as a career opportunity for individuals particularly interested in any sport.
For example
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, a football coach, a gym trainer, or a cricket player can achieve great success compared to traditional white-collar jobs.
Moreover
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, it
instills
Change the spelling
instils
show examples
higher discipline in one's life, especially among children. In conclusion, in my opinion,
sports
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cannot be merely regarded as a leisure time
activity
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; it plays a significant role in the development of determined citizens of our nation.
Additionally
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, it not only relieves stress but
also
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opens up career opportunities, contributes to national pride by representing the country in
Olympics
Correct article usage
the Olympics
show examples
and other Commonwealth Games, and imparts life skills
such
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as swimming, which act as protection against natural disasters.
Submitted by praneeth2094 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured and clearly presented. However, try to ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and supports it with specific examples.
task achievement
You've done well in addressing both views on the topic. To improve further, provide more diverse and detailed examples to illustrate your points.
task achievement
The essay effectively covers both perspectives and provides a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay helps in presenting a coherent argument throughout.
coherence cohesion
The presence of a strong introduction and conclusion greatly enhances the clarity of your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure activity
  • relaxation
  • unwind
  • socialize
  • non-essential
  • recreational
  • physical health
  • fitness
  • life skills
  • teamwork
  • discipline
  • community pride
  • national pride
  • career opportunities
  • personal development
  • societal well-being
  • balanced view
  • acknowledge
  • benefits
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