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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many young people leave school with negative attitudes towards learning. What are the causes? How to encourage people to study?

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Nowadays, the phenomenon that many
students
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 become tired of studying the moment they graduate from
school
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 attracts greater attention from the public. First of all, the teacher-centred mode of
education
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 is one of the reasons.
According to
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 the traditional method, the teacher simply dominates the entire process of classroom
education
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. It is quite a familiar scene where, inside the classroom, the teacher stands on a platform, delivering knowledge to a group of quiet, likely uninterested,
students
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. The severe lack of mutual interaction makes the classes extremely boring for the majority of the
students
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. With the passing of time, a strong resistant mood grows, causing
the
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a
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 loss of interest in learning.
Furthermore
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, the examination-oriented learning atmosphere is another reason. Seemingly, the target of
school
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education
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 is the
students
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 passing various tests. In hopes of raising the credit score of their
students
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, both the teachers and the
school
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 authorities attach
an
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apply
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excessive importance to the result of exams
while
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 neglecting the cultivation of practical skills
students
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 need more. The only criteria to judge the
students
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 lies in their marks.
As a result
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, those who have obtained poorer scores might be looked down upon by others and, naturally, may tend to react negatively towards learning. The best way to get out of
this
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 embarrassing predicament is to carry out an effective reform of
school
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education
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 immediately.
For example
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, a large class can be reduced to multiple smaller classes, which will make it easier for the teacher to communicate with his or her
students
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. At the same time, we should constantly update and innovate the teaching plan to improve the
overall
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 teaching quality. As long as classroom instruction is more engaging for
students
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, they are less likely to hold negative attitudes.
Additionally
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, Teachers should render sincere encouragement to these
students
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 who cannot perform well and help them make progress in their studies rather than blame them harshly and provoke negativity.
Therefore
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,
students
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 should not be solely responsible for their faded love of
education
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. The real causes of
this
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 issue are multifaceted.Weak points exist in the prevalent educational methods which have to be extensively eliminated. Meanwhile, the content of
school
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education
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 should be diversified so as to prevent campus life from becoming too dull. Only by doing so can
school
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 years bring about life-long benefits to the
students
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.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain reader engagement. Use a variety of connectors and linking phrases to improve the overall coherence.
task achievement
Introduce some specific examples or real-life cases that clearly demonstrate the points you are making to provide more evidence and persuasiveness to your argument.
task achievement
The essay covers the causes and encourages discussed in the task prompt effectively, presenting a complete response to the question.
coherence cohesion
A clear structure is maintained throughout the essay, with a strong introduction and conclusion, aiding the reader's understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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