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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The pie charts below give information about the population of South Korea in 2000 and 2050.

The pie charts below give information about the population of South Korea in 2000 and 2050.
The two pie charts show the population of South Korea in 2000 and 2050.
According to
Linking Words
 the first chart, the dominant portion of the population was adults between 40 and 59
years
Use synonyms
 old,
this
Linking Words
 figure was 42%.
People
Use synonyms
 from 20 to 39
years
Use synonyms
 old were the second largest portion in 2000.
This
Linking Words
 figure was 33%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, over 60
years
Use synonyms
 old
people
Use synonyms
 and teenagers (0 to 19
years
Use synonyms
 old) accounted for 25%. In 2050, it is notable that
people
Use synonyms
 between 40 and 59
years
Use synonyms
 old will account for 45%, which is expected to be the largest proportion.
However
Linking Words
, the percentage of adults from 20 to 39
years
Use synonyms
 old will decline by 4% from 2000,
this
Linking Words
 figure will be 29%. Interestingly,
people
Use synonyms
 younger than 20
years
Use synonyms
 are expected to experience a significant decline, from 15% in 2000 to 7% in 2050,
while
Linking Words
 over 60
years
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 are expected to increase by 19% in 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, two age groups(20-39
years
Use synonyms
 old and 40-59
years
Use synonyms
) are expected to remain stable,
while
Linking Words
 the other two age groups ( over 60
years
Use synonyms
 old and under 20
years
Use synonyms
 old) will change considerably.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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