You want to sell your laptop. You think a friend of yours might like to to buy it from you. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Explain why you are selling the laptop Discribe the laptop Suggest a date when your friend can come and see it

Dear Jass, I hope you are doing great in Toronto. It's been a

while

since we met each other. Actually, I'm writing

this

letter to let you know that I've decided to sell my laptop because I don't need it anymore and I remember that you needed a laptop for your college assignments. Fortunately, I got an opportunity to work in a software company that

also

going to issue me a new MacBook Pro free of cost, which I think is much better for me and

also

has more features. So,

that is

the only reason to sell it. I bought my notebook computer just a few months ago, but it's still in good condition. My HP laptop has an i7 processor with 16 GB of RAM and 1 TB of memory for storage. It

also

has a 17-inch screen and contains all software with updated versions

such

as Photoshop, PowerPoint and Word. If you are interested, we can meet next weekend at my place after 2pm, and

also

on Wednesday between 1pm and 5 pm. I look forward to hearing from you. Best regards, Tajinder Singh

Submitted by tajinder.panag on Sun Jan 28 2024

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Coherence Cohesion

Try to make sure each paragraph has a clear purpose that directly relates to the prompts. For example, paragraph one could focus solely on why you're selling the laptop, paragraph two on the description, and paragraph three on arranging a viewing time. While your letter touched on these aspects, the transition between them could be more fluid.

Coherence Cohesion

Ensuring paragraphing is clear will help improve the logical flow of the letter. Use a variety of connecting words to help with the transition between sentences and ideas, which enhances the readability.

Task Achievement

Expand on the reasons for selling the laptop within the first paragraph to fully satisfy the task requirement. Additionally, provide more personalized information on how the laptop might meet your friend's needs to enhance task response.

Coherence Cohesion

Use more varied sentence structures to create a more complex and engaging narrative. Short sentences can make the text seem choppy, integrating compound or complex sentences can lead to a higher band score.

Coherence Cohesion

Check for minor grammatical errors that can detract from the overall quality of the writing. Proofreading can help eliminate these mistakes.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

187 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You want to sell your laptop. You think a friend of yours might like to to buy it from you. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Explain why you are selling the laptop Discribe the laptop Suggest a date when your friend can come and see it

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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