Some people see sports only as a leisure activity, while others believe sports play a more important role. Discuss both views and give your option.
Whilst many think that playing
sports
is just a source of entertainment, I believe that participation in different sports
have
many benefits Correct subject-verb agreement
has
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
games
helps
a person to stay physically and mentally healthy, and Correct subject-verb agreement
help
sports
also
increases
Correct subject-verb agreement
increase
competetive
Correct your spelling
competitive
spirit
among individuals.
To begin
with the former argument, people
view various games
and sports
as an activity of fun. Playing sports
give
a sense of relaxation to many individuals. Many Change the verb form
gives
people
in the morning or evening visit sports
grounds to fill up their free time. It is an inevitable fact that sports
are a great source of entertainment, fun, and stress burster, and people
play them in order to break the everyday monotony of life, for example
, in many organisations there are annual sports
competitions in order to make sure that the employees stay stress free
, as Add a hyphen
stress-free
sports
is considered as the best source of recreation.
On the contrary
, I believe that with games
, people
not only get entertained,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
stays
fit both physically and mentally. The first and foremost factor to support my point is that, Correct subject-verb agreement
stay
participation
regularly in various sporting activities, a person does natural physical exercise of their whole body. Change preposition
with participation
Morover
, some Correct your spelling
Moreover
games
enhances
the cognitive abilities of humans, Change the verb form
enhance
for example
, chess. Besides
this
, sports
increases
the Correct subject-verb agreement
increase
spirit
of competition in players, for
example
teams Add a comma
example,
plays
against each other in order to win, and Change the verb form
play
this
winning spirit
assist
them later in their Change the verb form
assists
life
as well. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Also
, playing distinct games
promotes team spirit
as well.
In conclusion, although
without a doubt games
and sports
are the best way to stay entertained, I still support the latter argument that with sports
, people
are able to develop holistically as games
aids
Change the verb form
aid
people
to stay healthy; moreover
, it
Correct pronoun usage
they
promotes
Correct subject-verb agreement
promote
team
and competitive Correct your spelling
teamwork
spirit
among players.Submitted by harleenarora620 on
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task achievement
Work on correcting minor spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'becasue' and 'competetive' and 'stress burster'.
task achievement
Try to elaborate the points a bit more to provide deeper insights and clearer examples, e.g., explain how exactly sports lead to mental fitness.
coherence cohesion
Ensure transitions between ideas are smoother; using a variety of linking words would enhance the flow.
coherence cohesion
Expand the introduction and the conclusion to summarize the main points better and provide a stronger statement of your view.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view considering both sides of the argument, which is great for Task Response.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, providing a clear structure.
task achievement
The points made are relevant and generally well-supported, making the ideas clear and comprehensive.
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