Some people see sports only as a leisure activity, while others believe sports play a more important role. Discuss both views and give your option.

#people #sports #leisure #activity #role #option

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Whilst many think that playing

sports

Use synonyms

is just a source of entertainment, I believe that participation in different

sports

Use synonyms

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

many benefits

becasue

Correct your spelling

because

games

Use synonyms

helps

Correct subject-verb agreement

help

show examples

a person to stay physically and mentally healthy, and

sports

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

increases

Correct subject-verb agreement

increase

show examples

competetive

Correct your spelling

competitive

spirit

Use synonyms

among individuals.

To begin

Linking Words

with the former argument,

people

Use synonyms

view various

games

Use synonyms

and

sports

Use synonyms

as an activity of fun. Playing

sports

Use synonyms

give

Change the verb form

gives

show examples

a sense of relaxation to many individuals. Many

people

Use synonyms

in the morning or evening visit

sports

Use synonyms

grounds to fill up their free time. It is an inevitable fact that

sports

Use synonyms

are a great source of entertainment, fun, and stress burster, and

people

Use synonyms

play them in order to break the everyday monotony of life,

for example

Linking Words

, in many organisations there are annual

sports

Use synonyms

competitions in order to make sure that the employees stay

stress free

Add a hyphen

stress-free

show examples

, as

sports

Use synonyms

is considered as the best source of recreation.

On the contrary

Linking Words

, I believe that with

games

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

not only get entertained

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

stays

Correct subject-verb agreement

stay

show examples

fit both physically and mentally. The first and foremost factor to support my point is that,

participation

Change preposition

with participation

show examples

regularly in various sporting activities, a person does natural physical exercise of their whole body.

Morover

Correct your spelling

Moreover

, some

games

Use synonyms

enhances

Change the verb form

enhance

show examples

the cognitive abilities of humans,

for example

Linking Words

, chess.

Besides

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

sports

Use synonyms

increases

Correct subject-verb agreement

increase

show examples

the

spirit

Use synonyms

of competition in players,

for

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

teams

plays

Change the verb form

play

show examples

against each other in order to win, and

this

Linking Words

winning

spirit

Use synonyms

assist

Change the verb form

assists

show examples

them later in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

as well.

Also

Linking Words

, playing distinct

games

Use synonyms

promotes team

spirit

Use synonyms

as well. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

without a doubt

games

Use synonyms

and

sports

Use synonyms

are the best way to stay entertained, I still support the latter argument that with

sports

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

are able to develop holistically as

games

Use synonyms

aids

Change the verb form

aid

show examples

people

Use synonyms

to stay healthy;

moreover

Linking Words

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

promotes

Correct subject-verb agreement

promote

show examples

team

Correct your spelling

teamwork

show examples

and competitive

spirit

Use synonyms

among players.

Submitted by harleenarora620 on Thu May 16 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Work on correcting minor spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'becasue' and 'competetive' and 'stress burster'.

task achievement

Try to elaborate the points a bit more to provide deeper insights and clearer examples, e.g., explain how exactly sports lead to mental fitness.

coherence cohesion

Ensure transitions between ideas are smoother; using a variety of linking words would enhance the flow.

coherence cohesion

Expand the introduction and the conclusion to summarize the main points better and provide a stronger statement of your view.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced view considering both sides of the argument, which is great for Task Response.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, providing a clear structure.

task achievement

The points made are relevant and generally well-supported, making the ideas clear and comprehensive.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

leisure activity
relaxation
unwind
socialize
non-essential
recreational
physical health
fitness
life skills
teamwork
discipline
community pride
national pride
career opportunities
personal development
societal well-being
balanced view
acknowledge
benefits

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Some people choose to have their first child at an older age. What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
More and more people around the world are choosing to wait before having their first child. This decision is influenced by personal factors such as emotional readiness and financial stability, but it's clear that the advantages of this choice often outweigh the drawbacks.
4.5
band
Every man has a right to proper healthcare. However, private hospitals nowadays are so profit-oriented that they are distracted from providing proper healthcare facilities. In your opinion, is this profit-making tendency a hindrance to proper healthcare ?
Nowadays, healthcare providers have become more greedy and don't have ethical responsibility. All humans have the total right to getting good quality medication, also better pricing tags on services in different sections of it.
<4
band
You have a full time job and also doing a part time evening course. You now find that you can not continue this course. Describe the situation Explain why you can not continue at this time Say what action you would like to take
I am writing to ask this letter you about that. I would like one of the participants to be the social event's organiser.
8
band
Some people think that younger people are not suitable for important positions in government. Others think that it will be a good idea for younger people to take on these positions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There are different views about whether younger adults are well-suited for significant roles within governmental structures. This essay will discuss the reasons behind these two views and demonstrate my own opinion.
8.5
band
You had to cancel a meeting with a friend. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter apologize for canceling the meeting explain why you couldn't be there suggest an alternative day when you could meet
I hope this letter finds you in good health. I'm sending you this letter to let you know I won't be able to make it in time for our meeting due to a family matter. I'm devastated that I won't be joining you and your daughter, and I apologize for that.

Some people see sports only as a leisure activity, while others believe sports play a more important role. Discuss both views and give your option.

Some people choose to have their first child at an older age. What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Every man has a right to proper healthcare. However, private hospitals nowadays are so profit-oriented that they are distracted from providing proper healthcare facilities. In your opinion, is this profit-making tendency a hindrance to proper healthcare ?

You have a full time job and also doing a part time evening course. You now find that you can not continue this course. Describe the situation Explain why you can not continue at this time Say what action you would like to take

Some people think that younger people are not suitable for important positions in government. Others think that it will be a good idea for younger people to take on these positions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You had to cancel a meeting with a friend. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter apologize for canceling the meeting explain why you couldn't be there suggest an alternative day when you could meet