Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism, but others consider that tourism is the only way pf protecting a culture. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

It is thought by some people that the influx of tourists will ruin and destroy their authentic

culture

while

others believe it is the way to save

culture

. In

this

essay, both viewpoints will be outlined before reaching my conclusion. On the one hand, there are several disadvantages that tourism can bring to society.

Firstly

, the mixed

culture

food

is created and ruins the local ones.

Although

tourists travel to other countries, they still sometimes crave their own national

food

together with

want to try something new.

Therefore

, many local restaurant owners try to adapt and invent new dishes, meaning, a combination dish which will ruin the authentic taste of their

food

Secondly

, travellers prefer to stay in a new modern style hotel.

This

new state-of-the-art hotel can totally offer them a comfortability and entertainment more than most locals can offer.

On the other hand

, it is true that tourism can protect the local

culture

. In the first place, Tourists tend to support local restaurants as they need to gain a new experience.

For instance

, when

holiday-makers

Correct your spelling

holidaymakers

show examples

go to the countryside, they normally opt for a local restaurant that sells authentic

food

instead

of going to a restaurant that can give them their familiar

food

Therefore

, locals can earn money from these people and travellers can taste legit authentic

food

. In the second place, People who travel to another country mostly find local accommodation to stay during their trips. To illustrate, they choose to stay at a local motel because they want to learn and understand the local lifestyle. All in all, even if the movements of tourism will bring

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

negative effects which might ruin the local

culture

, they

also

come with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

positive sides to support communities in local areas.

Submitted by nnatthinee on Thu May 16 2024

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task achievement

Overall, your essay demonstrates a solid understanding of both sides of the issue. However, to enhance your argument, consider providing more specific examples and evidence to support your points. For example, you could include a case study or statistics about how tourism has impacted a particular culture.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the transitions between your points and paragraphs are as smooth as possible. While your essay does have a clear structure, using more linking words and phrases could further improve coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your arguments well.

task achievement

You present both sides of the argument in a balanced manner, which is commendable. This demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes logically structured paragraphs, each with a clear main idea and supporting points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

authenticity
commercialization
cultural exploitation
cultural heritage
dilute
erosion
over-tourism
proponents
revitalization
traditions and rituals
financial support
cultural exchange
global communities
preservation

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Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism, but others consider that tourism is the only way pf protecting a culture. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

One of the major problems that face today's goverments is creating enough sostis factory housing for their increasing population whilst still trying to protect the convironment. Disscuss this statement and your opinion

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?