In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyle of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is true that the younger generation does not eat and live the same way as the older ones do.
While
the shift has aroused concerns about its harmful impacts, there is a positive side that should be acknowledged.
Undeniably, the emergence of fast-food or ultra-processed foods can pose a huge threat to public health
as most of them lack the essential nutrients that a human requires daily. Limited intakes of such
products may be harmless; however
, children, teenagers, and even young adults frequently fall for their cheapness and tastiness far more easily than the older ones, which makes them the most vulnerable victims to the long-term attack of those chemical mixtures. As some studies suggest, excessive consumption of fast food could significantly increase the likelihood of catching basic diseases. Diets aside, younger ones also
spend far less time on activities that have beneficial effects on health
than their parents. For example
, due to
the stress from school performance, more than 70% of students aged seven to twelve claimed that they had experienced insomnia, physical lethargy, and various mental health
issues.
Although
the mainstream view on the transformation is pessimistic, the change in diet in some regions of the world may shine some bright lights. The traditional cuisines in China have the reputation of being overly oily, salty, and tangy, which are proven to be not felicitous to a child’s physical development, but the newly introduced Mediterranean dishes have modified eating habits among a faction of Chinese households. It is suggested by some nutritionists that the trend may reduce the chances of cardiac illnesses that are prevalent among the public.
To summarise, while
some surging habits can present harm, such
as the increasing popularity of easy-to-prepare foods and declining sleep time, the introduction of helpful ways of living could enhance public health
and well-being.Submitted by yanjinru0827 on
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task achievement
The essay addresses all parts of the task, providing a balanced response with both negative and positive aspects of the issue. To improve further, ensure that the examples provided are more specific and detailed to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured and logically organized. There is a clear progression of ideas, and each paragraph has a clear central topic. However, the transition between some points could be smoother to enhance the overall flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay generally supports main points with explanations and examples. However, some points would benefit from more in-depth analysis and more specific data or anecdotes, which would make the support stronger and more persuasive.
introduction
The introduction clearly presents the topic and sets up the discussion well. It grabs the reader's attention and addresses the complexity of the issue.
task achievement
The essay offers a balanced perspective by discussing both negative and positive aspects of the changes in children's eating habits and lifestyles. This balanced view adds depth to the argument.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph has a clear main idea, and the ideas are well-organized which helps the overall readability of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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