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Band 7

several people assert that the main cause of crime is an economically disadvantaged background. However, others say that crime is caused by a person's nature. Discuss both ideas and give your own opinion

#people #crime #background #person #nature
The causes of
crime
 are a heavily studied topic in modern society. Many experts believe that
crime
 is caused by poverty.
However
, others believe that
crime
 is a result of a
person
's nature. Extensive research about these causes has not been able to produce a definite answer about the
cause
 of
crime
. In recent years, as the amount of
crime
 has increased, many connections have been found between economic poverty and the probability of committing a
crime
.
For instance
, surveys of prison inmates have found that criminals who come from disadvantaged households are more likely to commit crimes to survive. Poor inmates report higher rates of theft and robbery than inmates who were raised in richer households.
This
 shows that there is a direct relationship between poverty and
crime
.
On the other hand
, another factor that could explain the
cause
 of
crime
 is a
person
's nature. Many psychologists have posited that a criminal's way of thinking could determine how a
person
 behaves, which suggests that people are not free to act as they desire. In
this
 regard, people with certain mindsets would naturally be compelled to commit crimes. Basically,
crime
 is not a choice, so scientists must study the structure and function of a
person
's mindset to discover the true
cause
 of
crime
. In conclusion, these two ideas about the
cause
 of
crime
 are both interesting, but since there are many people from economically disadvantaged backgrounds who do not commit case. I believe that it seems more likely that a
person
's nature could
cause
 them to commit the
crime
.
Submitted by kimjy3329 on

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task achievement
While the essay provides a clear and comprehensive response, the conclusion's assertion could be a bit more substantiated. Consider adding more specific examples or elaborating on why the nature argument outweighs the economic background argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas to enhance logical flow. For instance, linking the discussion of both perspectives with relevant connectors can further strengthen coherence.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents both views on the causes of crime, providing clear points and relevant examples for each perspective.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion and encapsulate the main argument, contributing to a well-structured essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a logical structure with clear main points in each paragraph, contributing to an overall coherent and cohesive argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economically disadvantaged
  • necessities
  • societal factors
  • external circumstances
  • criminal activities
  • intrinsic characteristics
  • personality traits
  • moral beliefs
  • psychological conditions
  • predisposed
  • personal choice
  • responsibility
  • profound impact
  • circumstances
  • attributes
  • behavior
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