Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do yo agree with this statement ?

#children #lifestyle #schools #parents #yo

Nowadays, many

children

have some problems with their daily routines. Individuals argue that

parents

and schools are accountable for dealing with

this

predicament. I completely agree with

this

statement, and

this

essay will elaborate on my views.

To begin

with, there are several reasons why

children

themselves should be responsible for their own lifestyle. First of all, if

children

prioritize what to do on an upcoming day, they can save considerable time for quality time to spend with their family members.

As a result

, they not only live a healthy lifestyle but

also

allocate some time to exchange ideas with their family.

Moreover

, being curious and conscious about the future among

children

is considered a positive development in our society.

For

this

reason, giving

children

the opportunity to make some important plans is

also

extremely effective for their future lives, since they should learn about essential things

such

as decision-making.

On the other hand

, there are

also

plenty of reasons why both schools and

parents

should be responsible for planning routines for

children

Initially

parents

play a crucial role in their

children

's lives, which is why they should assist their infants in some fields in order to make their lives easier and happier.

As a result

, they could make their child disciplined and very tenacious, which encourages them to study very diligently. By doing so, teachers

also

contribute to student's improved

overall

performance and upgraded results. In the long term,

parents

, school members, and

children

's efforts will pay off.

Secondly

, if teachers create a good learning environment and a better system for representing new lessons, they could see the benefits of their endeavours, which would be beneficial for both sides. In conclusion,

although

some people argue that

children

should outline their own regimen, I strongly believe that teachers and

parents

should support their offspring so as to succeed in life.

Submitted by ieltswritingband99 on Mon Aug 19 2024

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task achievement

To achieve a higher score, consider refining some of the main points to make them more specific and detailed. This will enhance the overall clarity of your arguments and provide more comprehensive support for your views.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your paragraphs are consistently focused on a single idea or point. This will improve coherence and make your essay easier to follow for the reader.

structure

The essay has a clear and well-defined introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the overall argument effectively.

structure

The essay demonstrates a good logical flow of ideas, making it generally easy to follow the main arguments presented.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

310 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do yo agree with this statement ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

nuclear power is far too dangerous; therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead on developing alternative sources such as hydroelectric power and solar energy. To what extent do you agree?

Around the world, fewer languages are being spoken, and just a few are becoming more common. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that good teamwork is what makes companies successful. Others feel that it is more important to have a good leader. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.