Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do yo agree with this statement ?

#children #lifestyle #schools #parents #yo

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, many

children

have some problems with their daily routines. Individuals argue that

parents

and schools are accountable for dealing with

this

predicament. I completely agree with

this

statement, and

this

essay will elaborate on my views.

To begin

with, there are several reasons why

children

themselves should be responsible for their own lifestyle. First of all, if

children

prioritize what to do on an upcoming day, they can save considerable time for quality time to spend with their family members.

As a result

, they not only live a healthy lifestyle but

also

allocate some time to exchange ideas with their family.

Moreover

, being curious and conscious about the future among

children

is considered a positive development in our society.

For

this

reason, giving

children

the opportunity to make some important plans is

also

extremely effective for their future lives, since they should learn about essential things

such

as decision-making.

On the other hand

, there are

also

plenty of reasons why both schools and

parents

should be responsible for planning routines for

children

Initially

parents

play a crucial role in their

children

's lives, which is why they should assist their infants in some fields in order to make their lives easier and happier.

As a result

, they could make their child disciplined and very tenacious, which encourages them to study very diligently. By doing so, teachers

also

contribute to student's improved

overall

performance and upgraded results. In the long term,

parents

, school members, and

children

's efforts will pay off.

Secondly

, if teachers create a good learning environment and a better system for representing new lessons, they could see the benefits of their endeavours, which would be beneficial for both sides. In conclusion,

although

some people argue that

children

should outline their own regimen, I strongly believe that teachers and

parents

should support their offspring so as to succeed in life.

Submitted by ieltswritingband99 on Mon Aug 19 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

To achieve a higher score, consider refining some of the main points to make them more specific and detailed. This will enhance the overall clarity of your arguments and provide more comprehensive support for your views.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your paragraphs are consistently focused on a single idea or point. This will improve coherence and make your essay easier to follow for the reader.

structure

The essay has a clear and well-defined introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the overall argument effectively.

structure

The essay demonstrates a good logical flow of ideas, making it generally easy to follow the main arguments presented.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Nowadays the way many people interact why each other has changed because of technology In what ways has technology affected the types of relation ship people make Has this become a positive or negative development?
In recent years , the advancement that had happened in technology affect a lot on the communication among people and change the way they used to interact with each other , which make people have online friend way more than actual friend . I believe this advancement has both pros and cones that I will discussed .
4.5
band
It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation?
Nowadays there is more choice for the consumers then ever in the past. Most small towns have a large supermarket and you can buy any product on the internet with just the click. This might be good for consumners but small local shops are competition and they have to close, in my opinion we need to protect small shops by closing.
6.5
band
An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?
Many service-oriented professionals from underdeveloped or developing countries migrate to developed ones for employment. Indeed these situations cause a brain-drain in their home country. These problems can be solved by the government by recognizing their valuable work and providing them with good pay.
6
band
Some people believe that allowing childern to make their own choices on everyday matters (Such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuls who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for childern to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is thought by a selection of individuals that letting the younger generation decides what they want on everyday matters leading to allowing them to think about themselves, resulting in an isolated society. However, others believe that we should just let them make decisions that are critical for their lives only. In this essay, both viewpoints will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching my conclusion which is I agree with the latter notion.
5
band
'We should introduce laws to make businesses and state services employ equal numbers of male and female workers in every department or area of the company.' How far do you support this idea? Give reasons for your answer, and support your essay with ideas and examples from your own experience. You should write at least 250 words.
Their is no doubt, that laws should protect basic human values and stimulate development of society. However, i do not agree with the idea to make businesses and state services employ equal numbers of male and female workers in every department or area of the company. The initiative has many drawbacks, which I will be described in the essay.

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do yo agree with this statement ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays the way many people interact why each other has changed because of technology In what ways has technology affected the types of relation ship people make Has this become a positive or negative development?

It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation?

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?