It is often said that we should work to live, not live to work. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.
Both the given opinions in the statement have their own purpose and value, whilst some people think that we should devote our lives properly to our
work
, I believe that we should work
in order to fulfil our basic necessities and dreams, and simultaneously we should spare some time
for our family and entertainment.
To begin
with, people who think that we must devote our time
dedicately towards work
claim that, living a professional life
provides a structure, sense, and purpose to a person. Moreover
, working aids humans to lead a successful life
, and also
a successful worker has more financial security. People who are dedicated towards their careers and are giving proper hours to their jobs are able to grow positively towards their careers, and this
leads to personal and professional development, for example
, CEOs of many large organisations like Mukesh Ambani put their hard efforts to reach success.
On the contrary
, I believe that we should not busy ourselves only with work
or jobs, rather we must spare our precious time
to spend with our family members because they are also
an important part of our lives. It is required to understand that we must work
in order to fulfil the utmost necessities of life
, and we should earn to live and also
to achieve our dreams, but family is equally critical as well. Also
, devoting full time
to work
can sometimes be stressful and hectic as well, so fun and entertainment in life
play a great role in relaxing our minds, sparing some time
for travel, hobbies, and so on.
In conclusion, although
many famous entrepreneurs devote their full time
to work
, and following their profession religiously is a factor for financial stability, I am still convinced with the fact that sparing time
for family and leisure by maintaining a work
-life
life
balance is crucial.Submitted by harleenarora620 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph sticks to one main idea and elaborates on it fully with relevant examples. This helps in making your points clear and convincing.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid grammatical errors and refine sentence structures for better clarity and coherence.
task achievement
While you have provided good points, providing more specific examples and evidence to back your claims would make a stronger argument.
task achievement
Consider varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary to improve the lexical resource criterion, which impacts both task achievement and coherence.
task achievement
Try to address opposing views more thoroughly and provide a balanced discussion by acknowledging the strengths and weaknesses of each perspective.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion well.
task achievement
You have made a clear attempt to address both points of view and provided your own opinion, which shows good task achievement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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