Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people believe that marketing plays a huge role in getting our attention to buy goods
while
others argue that commercials are not getting attention anymore as it has become so ordinary now. In my
opionion
Correct your spelling
opinion
, I agree with the first statement.
This
essay will explain both perceptions
alongwith
Correct your spelling
along with
my own point of view.
To begin
with
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
argument, marketing has always played a major role in the success of lots of businesses. As soon as we open any social media app an
advertise
Replace the word
advertisement
show examples
comes to our screen and it is not possible that we skip the ad except the fact that
product
Correct article usage
the product
show examples
is out of our interest.
Moreover
, the immense level of discount
advertises
Replace the word
advertisements
show examples
force
Correct subject-verb agreement
forces
show examples
the viewers to get the benefit of that sale and they end up adding things to
cart
Correct article usage
the cart
show examples
and
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
it.
For instance
,
marketing
Correct article usage
a marketing
show examples
survey in
pakistan
Change the capitalization
Pakistan
show examples
was done by students of Punjab University and they took two products from their local market. One of the two products was displayed on
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
entrance as an
advertise
Replace the word
advertisement
show examples
.
As a consequence
, the advertised
product
got more buyers as
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
to the other
product
which proved that commercialising a
product
attracts
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
buyers to some extent.
On the other hand
, some humans believe that in
this
fast-running era of
workloads
Add a comma
workloads,
show examples
nobody wants to
waster
Replace the word
waste
show examples
their time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
watching commercials.
For instance
, if you are
listening
Add the preposition
listening to
show examples
a lecture on
youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
with a focused mind and an advertisement comes up, you will skip the video as soon as possible to continue your study.
Besides
, people don't like to see
pop up
Add a hyphen
pop-up
show examples
ads on
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
show examples
while
they are reading some important article or doing shopping because they are concerned about their actual
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
. To exemplify, a research done by London students on ads and got 90% of the answers with dislike of advertisements.
As a result
, I believe that watching an advertisement is a personal
prefrence
Correct your spelling
preference
and it depends on the situation.
However
, I believe that the first statement is more accurate regarding marketing.
Submitted by zanu.ch666 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider adding more detailed examples to strengthen your points. This will make your argument more compelling and well-rounded.
general
Make sure to proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, use more linking words and phrases to make transitions between ideas smoother.
coherence cohesion
Expand on your conclusion, reinforcing your own opinion and summarizing key points discussed in the essay.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion by addressing both viewpoints, which is critical for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly present, giving your essay a good structure.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
Look at other essays: