There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work.(re)
The debate over whether non-academic
subjects
such
as physical education
and cookery should be removed from the school syllabus to allow students to focus more on academic success
is a contentious one. While
some argue that prioritizing academic subjects
is essential for future success
, others believe that practical subjects
play an equally important role in a child’s overall
development. In this
essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and explain why I support the inclusion of non-academic subjects
in the school curriculum.
On one hand, it is argued that academic subjects
are crucial for securing a successful career. This
belief is rooted in the idea that society places a higher value on professions that require intellectual skills
rather than physical abilities. Consequently
, parents often push their children to excel in subjects
such
as mathematics, science, and literature, which are perceived as gateways to lucrative and prestigious careers. Given the competitive nature of the job market, it is understandable that many parents prioritize academic achievement to ensure their children stand out in fields like engineering, medicine, and law.
However
, I believe that practical subjects
such
as physical education
and cookery should not be dismissed as unimportant. Not every child excels in academic subjects
, and for some, practical skills
may be the key to their future success
. For example
, athletes who dedicate their time to training and competing can achieve remarkable success
, often surpassing what they could have accomplished in a traditional 9-to-5 job. Similarly
, skills
learned in cookery classes can lead to rewarding careers in the culinary arts, where creativity and hands-on experience are highly valued. Moreover
, practical subjects
contribute to a well-rounded education
, promoting physical health, creativity, and life skills
that are essential for personal growth and development.
In conclusion, while
academic subjects
undeniably play a vital role in a child’s education
, I firmly believe that non-academic subjects
offer equally valuable benefits. Removing these subjects
from the curriculum would deprive students of opportunities to develop important life skills
and pursue alternative paths to success
. Therefore
, it is essential to maintain a balanced curriculum that includes both academic and practical subjects
to cater to the diverse needs and talents of all students.Submitted by kamonluck1999 on
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task achievement
While your arguments are well-structured and clear, adding a few more specific examples or statistics could bolster your points. This would provide concrete evidence to your claims and make your argument even more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Some transitional phrases could be more varied. Try using different connectors and linking phrases to maintain the reader's interest and enhance the flow between your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The logical structuring makes it easy to follow your arguments.
task achievement
You presented a balanced view by discussing both perspectives on the issue before stating your own opinion, which demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?