IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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These days,
internet
Use synonyms
 commerce takes a big part of the market.
However
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, local
stores
Use synonyms
 are still alive. Will
internet
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 destroy local
stores
Use synonyms
 in the near future?
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views and provide my opinion.
Internet
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 are displacing old fashion shops. The primary reason why
internet
Use synonyms
sales
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 are so popular these days is that they are cheaper than others.
Therefore
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, people prefer to save money and buy everything online. As an illustration, you can find websites that search through many online shops and allow you to sort by price. Time-saving is another reason why more and more people prefer it.
For example
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, if you want to buy something, you just need to take your mobile phone and buy a car in one touch.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, local
stores
Use synonyms
 do not give up because they are a necessity. First of all, it is quite useful to have a shop near your home,
due to
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 it allows you not to wait for delivery.
For instance
Linking Words
, if electricity was broken down for some reason, you would be able to buy food. For some, offline
sales
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 just about buying goods, but it becomes a relaxing process. I know a lot of people who will use only local
stores
Use synonyms
 to buy goods because it brings some pleasure. In conclusion,
internet
Use synonyms
 commerce has become an essential player in the
sales
Use synonyms
 market, but in some cases, you will never be able to close local
stores
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. On the one hand, we have low costs and time-saving at the same time, in faraway places local
stores
Use synonyms
 can be the only solution to selling and buying food. In my opinion,
internet
Use synonyms
 commerce will win
this
Linking Words
 battle because it increases profit every year.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure of your essay, ensure each paragraph clearly focuses on a single main point. Use linking words effectively to show the relationships between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate a clear introductory sentence that directly addresses the question and include a conclusion that summarizes your argument, reinforcing your stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed examples or evidence. Specific, real-world instances that illustrate your arguments make your essay more compelling and persuasive.
task achievement
Provide a more comprehensive response to the task by directly stating your agreement or disagreement with the statement in the prompt. Make your position clear from the beginning and consistently support it throughout.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more thoroughly. Each paragraph should explore the implications, consequences, or reasons behind the point it discusses, providing a more in-depth analysis of the topic.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Use personal experiences, statistical data, or identifiable trends to support your points and make them more credible.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
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