Many people buy unnecessary things and get into debt when they do not need them. why people who buy extra things are getting into debt and discuss possible solutions.
In today's digital age, there is a common
issue
of wasting on tools that we do not actually need .
The growing quantity of advertisements and billboards forces people to buy extra items.However
, fortunately, there are several ways how to counter this
issue
.
Firstly
, let's talk about the individuals
who get extra
debt to purchase Add an article
the extra
the
Correct article usage
apply
unrellevant
objects. Correct your spelling
relevant
By
the growing popularity of credit cards and bank accounts , Change preposition
With
individuals
got into this
digital world quickly .Unfortunately, there is a frequent problem that , expenditure done with credit cards seems to individuals
non-real waste and they are not enable to control themselves from them . Moreover
, there is evidence that advertisements have become ubiquitous.Furthermore
, there is a fact of children who pester their parents for the objects that they see when watching TV . The host of the house , compelled to purchase the expenditures faces bad circumstances.
Nevertheless
, the issue
is worldwide , certainly , there are a number of ways how to escape from this
matrix. An ordinary counterattack is to wait the first
24 hours before obtaining an expensive device. According to
British researchers , exploration made in Ireland displayed demographic information that individuals
make silly mistakes in the first
24 hours . The eagerness to the tool increases each hour and charms the individuals
. Thus
, delaying the first
day is crucial for humans , as there is a period of consideration .
To conclude
, there is an ordinary worldwide problem of purchasing unnecessary stuff . However
, there are several ways to escape from this
issue
. By killing time first
24 hours individuals
make a decision and eventually consider the item's necessity .Submitted by nejla.abdullayeva on
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task achievement
The essay addresses the task and presents ideas on why people get into debt buying unnecessary things and possible solutions. However, the arguments need more development and specific examples to enhance the discussion.
task achievement
Ensure that points are more evenly supported by specific facts, studies, or real-life examples. This will make your arguments more persuasive and credible.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure and is easy to follow. However, there are jumps between ideas that could be smoothed out to enhance the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use complete sentences and transition words to connect your arguments more seamlessly. For example, use words like 'moreover', 'furthermore', 'consequently' to show the relationship between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The ideas presented are clear, but the vocabulary and sentence structures could be varied to avoid repetition and improve readability.
task achievement
Introduce more specific details and clear examples to substantiate your points, such as studies, surveys, or personal anecdotes. This will help in making your arguments more tangible and persuasive.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential for a well-structured essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both parts of the task: reasons for getting into debt and possible solutions.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical flow in your argument, which makes the essay easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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