IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Governments should start investing more funds in building more railway infrastructure rather than roadways. Roadways and
cars
Use synonyms
 contribute to a very substantial amount of global warming and deforestation. It
also
Linking Words
 causes the demolishment of
people
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's property.
Railways
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,
on the other hand
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, are an eco-friendly mode of transport and can offer better connectivity and faster access to areas.
This
Linking Words
 essay extremely agrees that governments should construct more
railways
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. Development of
roads
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 requires searching for new locations and it consumes a lot of area. Building new
roads
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 or extending already existing ways requires the acquisition of land from many
people
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.
This
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 would lead to many
people
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 losing their houses and will need to relocate themselves, making it a troublesome process for the public.
This
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 development would
also
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 require cutting down many trees, destroying the habitat of many birds and animals, and causing an imbalance in the ecosystem.
For instance
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, almost 5000 trees were cut down to build a new road path.
Cars
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 are
also
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 responsible for global warming. They release a high amount of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, increasing the
overall
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 temperature of the planet. Heavy vehicles alone release 9 tons of greenhouse gases each year which is substantially low as compared to 0.2 tons released by trains. More
railways
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,
on the other hand
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, would help reduce pollution
that is
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 caused by
cars
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 and
also
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 make
travel
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 easier and quicker.
Railways
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, unlike
roads
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 can connect between several areas more easily. Railway tracks are made on the outskirts of the city, which mostly consists of barren land, not affecting the ecosystem as much as
roads
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.
This
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 helps in increased connectivity as various short routes can be developed making the time of
travel
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 faster and easier. Short routes not only help in the transportation of goods in a faster manner, helping in the
overall
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 development of a country but
also
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 help
people
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travel
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 to different places in cases of emergencies as opposed to
cars
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 that have to face a lot of traffic. Since most of the
railways
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 are electric as compared to the earlier diesel engines, the amount of pollution that trains cause is substantially low, not contributing to a warmer climate on the planet. In conclusion,
roads
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 lead to the destruction of properties of
people
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 and
also
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 contribute to the loss of trees and habitats of many species.
Moreover
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, adding to the process of global warming. The comfort with which
people
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 can
travel
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 and reach their destinations faster without causing a burden to the environment is certainly very beneficial.
Hence
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, governments spend more finance on
railways
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 than
roads
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.

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task achievement
Make your introduction more comprehensive by adding a brief explanation of the extent to which you agree or disagree before diving into your main points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure paragraphs have clear topic sentences for improved logical structure. This will help guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
task achievement
You provided specific and relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help to frame the discussion effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have made good use of cohesive devices to link your ideas and paragraphs, ensuring the essay flows well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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