IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You recently purchased an item from a local store, but you are not satisfies with your purchase. Write a letter to the manager of the store. In your letter •Describe the item you bought and why you need it •explain why you are not happy with it •say what you would like the manager to do Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

#item #store #purchase #manager #•describe #•explain #•say #sir #madam
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Dear Sir / Madam, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction regarding an item which I recently bought from your local store. A few days back, I bought a white puffer
jacket
 from your local Merivale store and it was on sale for $65.99. I wanted to give it as a present to my brother on his birthday.
This
 product was very much special for me because my brother needs a
jacket
 as he currently
don't
Change the verb form
doesn't
show examples
 have one The product was perfect when I tried it but when I reached home and showed it to my children, I came to know that the sleeves from
left
Correct article usage
the left
show examples
 sleeve are broken.
This
 created a big hole on the left side of the
jacket
.
However
, I immediately went to the store for an exchange but the jackets were sold out. At
this
 point, I would request you to arrange
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 exact same
jacket
 for me as I want to send it to my brother and his birthday is coming up in two days. Waiting to hear back from you. Yours sincerely, Tirth Thakkar
Submitted by tirththakkar23 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single clear idea to maintain coherence. Introducing, explaining, and concluding each concept clearly can enhance your writing's effectiveness.
Task Response
For even clearer task achievement, elaborate on how the jacket's issue affects its usability or its significance to your brother to further justify your dissatisfaction and request.
General Improvement
Though your letter maintains a polite and appropriate tone, varying your sentence structure more and employing a wider range of expressions could enrich your letter's quality.
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