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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Topic: The pie charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Oman and Spain in 2005 and projection for 2055.

Topic: The pie charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Oman and Spain in 2005 and projection for 2055.
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The supplied pie charts illustrate the expected changes in
populations
Correct article usage
the populations
show examples
 of two countries
including
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Oman
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 and
Spain
Use synonyms
 in 2005 compared to 2055.
Overall
Linking Words
;
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
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 charts incorporate three generations
such
Linking Words
 as 0-14 years, 15-59 and
60
Correct your spelling
60+ years
+years
Use synonyms
 with
60
Correct your spelling
60+ years
+years
Use synonyms
 being the most common in both countries. As can be seen, the percentage of
60
Correct your spelling
60+ years
+years
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
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 48% in
Oman
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 in 2005
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it will be increased to 57% in 2055. The opposite is true for
Spain
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,
in other words
Linking Words
, the proportion of
this
Linking Words
 group was 62% in the past;
however
Linking Words
, it will be decreased to 46% in 2055. Generally speaking, there is no doubt that the
60
Correct your spelling
60+ years
+years
Use synonyms
 contains the most capacity of each pie
charts
Fix the agreement mistake
chart
show examples
. It is clearly shown that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 there will be remarkable changes in 15-59 years in
Oman
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 and
Spain
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 with
2
Correct article usage
a 2
show examples
% increase for the former and 18% growth for the latter in 2055.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the most reduction will occur in 0-14 years in
Oman
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 from 48% in 2005 to 37% in 2055.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
Spain
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 will experience the same pattern from 14% to 12% in 2005 and 2055 respectively.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words oman, spain, +years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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