You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, many
people
decide to pursue their studies in university while
the skills of electricians and plumbers become limited; it is thought by some that vocational training has been developed to encourage people
on electricity
and plumbing. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, I totally agree as this
is a positive development to empower students to be more attractive and also
increase their skills in both subjects since those fields were crucial in the industrial revolution around the world.
In the beginning, electricity
and plumbing in every place
transformed into important things that should be handled by professional engineers or mechanics. A lot of people
begin to have no interest in this
job field as the salary is not promising in several countries, especially in developing countries. As a result
, according to
International Data Employees, the number of workers in this
subject has diminished year by year. Furthermore
, this
issue can be a harmful situation in the future if the world lacks electricians and plumbers. For instance
, every household, company, industry, etc. will face difficulties in solving the electricity
problem, water
supply, heating system, sanitation and many others. Unfortunately, it can impact to safety of work and the places can lack water
or anything related to this
job.
Secondly
, improving some countries cannot be relinquished by this
matter since electricity
and safety still become primary subjects for building skyscrapers, houses, or companies. In other words
, this
discipline is one of the foundations of creating a comfy and homey place
for many people
and all creatures. The lack of that subject during building a building can bring the detrimental butterfly effect. For example
, based on The Health Article, published in 2023, a house or a place
without good sanitation and water
supply can damage people
's health; moreover
, water
is an essential material needed by the human body and cancer is predicted to grow because of the dirty water
from old pipe. That is
why expert electricians and plumbers are extremely important to be trained.
In conclusion, vocational training to boost the talent of students and attract them is crucially important in every place
to create a better place
for everyone as a deterrence from atrocious damage in the future.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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task achievement
Your essay adequately addresses the prompt, but the extent of your argument could benefit from further elaboration. Specifically, while you have provided a clear position, the support of your ideas seems general rather than in-depth. Try to develop each point with more detailed arguments and evidence. Additionally, aim to ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall argument by directly addressing the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is somewhat clear, however, better logical sequencing and paragraphing are required. A clear introduction and conclusion are present, but the body paragraphs could be more cohesively organized with clearer topic sentences and smoother transitions between ideas. Consider employing a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the essay's flow.
