celebrities say media interfere in their private moments while some say that they must face this due to their popularity. do you agree or disagree?
In
this
modern world, the advancement in technology is rapidly increasing day by day, and the generation we are living in is social Linking Words
media
. Here, some popular stars argue that online news interferes with their personal lives, Use synonyms
while
others say that they must face Linking Words
this
Linking Words
due to
their popularity. In Linking Words
this
essay, I intend to discuss both views and suggest my opinion at Linking Words
last
.
Linking Words
To begin
with, because of the advancement in technology, people can now access anything and everything via social Linking Words
media
. Use synonyms
For instance
, nowadays popular faces like cricketers and movie stars argue about the problems of their personal lives and their privacy so that they cannot access markets, shopping, or theatres. Aside from Linking Words
this
, sometimes their family or personal matters problems will be transparent Linking Words
due to
social Linking Words
media
and bullying, and allegations against those popular faces will be hotly debated in the Use synonyms
media
which will affect their future careers.
Use synonyms
Furthermore
, sometimes most of the actors themselvesLinking Words
,
appointed some team to reach out to shoot up their brand value to the public, Remove the comma
apply
For example
, Linking Words
Paparazzi
, which is the team that collaborates with popular faces, wants to get more public relations and engages with their audience through social Correct article usage
the Paparazzi
media
applications Use synonyms
such
as Instagram, threads, and Facebook. Linking Words
This
will be a huge benefit for them. By doing so, they can accelerate their brand value, which leads to new projects and stable economic growth in their particular industries.
To summarise, every garden has its weeds, and the advantages and disadvantages are equally outweighing. Not only can Linking Words
media
interfere with their private moments, but they can Use synonyms
also
collaborate with Linking Words
media
to gain more insights.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Your essay introduces both perspectives and provides an opinion, which is good. However, to achieve a higher score, provide more detailed arguments and specific examples for each point of view.
task achievement
Try to ensure that your paragraphs are more balanced in terms of length and detail. Some points are less developed than others.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically flows into the next. Using more sophisticated linking words and phrases can improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion could reiterate the main points discussed in the essay more clearly to provide a sense of closure.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the topic and indicates the direction of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear separation of different points of view.
coherence cohesion
You effectively summarize the discussion in the conclusion, even though it could be more explicit in restating main points.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the topic's complexity.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.