celebrities say media interfere in their private moments while some say that they must face this due to their popularity. do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #media #moments #say #face #popularity

this

modern world, the advancement in technology is rapidly increasing day by day, and the generation we are living in is social

media

. Here, some popular stars argue that online news interferes with their personal lives,

while

others say that they must face

this

due to

their popularity. In

this

essay, I intend to discuss both views and suggest my opinion at

last

To begin

with, because of the advancement in technology, people can now access anything and everything via social

media

For instance

, nowadays popular faces like cricketers and movie stars argue about the problems of their personal lives and their privacy so that they cannot access markets, shopping, or theatres. Aside from

this

, sometimes their family or personal matters problems will be transparent

due to

social

media

and bullying, and allegations against those popular faces will be hotly debated in the

media

which will affect their future careers.

Furthermore

, sometimes most of the actors themselves

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

appointed some team to reach out to shoot up their brand value to the public,

For example

Paparazzi

Correct article usage

the Paparazzi

show examples

, which is the team that collaborates with popular faces, wants to get more public relations and engages with their audience through social

media

applications

such

as Instagram, threads, and Facebook.

This

will be a huge benefit for them. By doing so, they can accelerate their brand value, which leads to new projects and stable economic growth in their particular industries. To summarise, every garden has its weeds, and the advantages and disadvantages are equally outweighing. Not only can

media

interfere with their private moments, but they can

also

collaborate with

media

to gain more insights.

Submitted by pranavravi95 on Sat May 18 2024

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task achievement

Your essay introduces both perspectives and provides an opinion, which is good. However, to achieve a higher score, provide more detailed arguments and specific examples for each point of view.

task achievement

Try to ensure that your paragraphs are more balanced in terms of length and detail. Some points are less developed than others.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph logically flows into the next. Using more sophisticated linking words and phrases can improve coherence.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion could reiterate the main points discussed in the essay more clearly to provide a sense of closure.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction effectively sets up the topic and indicates the direction of the essay.

coherence cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear separation of different points of view.

coherence cohesion

You effectively summarize the discussion in the conclusion, even though it could be more explicit in restating main points.

task achievement

You have addressed both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the topic's complexity.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

public scrutiny
paparazzi
media interference
right to privacy
tabloid exploitation
celebrity culture
public interest
mental health
personal boundaries
ethical considerations
legal protections
intrusive reporting
public persona vs. private life
fame trade-off
audience complicity

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celebrities say media interfere in their private moments while some say that they must face this due to their popularity. do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to Job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of Job satisfaction for all workers?

Some people say the best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people advocate death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe advantages and disadvantages of death penalty and give your opinion.

In the past, many male leaders had led our society to conflicts and violence. The world would be better governed and more peaceful if it were ruled by women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?