Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is this? Is it a positive or negative development?

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In
this
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computer era, we see lots of youngsters spend most of their time playing video games on screens and hardly doing any physical activity. In
this
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essay, we will discuss why
this
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situation arises and the impact on
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every child. Nowadays, playing digitally on the computer become the most preferable hobby for kids because of the advancements in graphics and creative challenges after completing every level.
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, young ones find playing on screen as a leisure hour
instead
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involving in any sports or outdoor activities.
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, the multiplayer option in which you can play with your friends virtually has worsened the situation.
For instance
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, Pub G is the most downloaded multiplayer game ever and has millions of users worldwide. For sure, it is a negative development because it is not only impacting children's minds
as well as
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their health. We hardly see any children doing any sports because they are busy achieving goals virtually, which is too far from reality. Devoting most of the day digitally impacts children's brains, and weakens their eyesight, making them aggressive and couch potatoes. There is a recent case which shocked the entire nation in which a boy attempted suicide because in the game he was told to do so. In the
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, I would conclude that spending some moment on any liking is good if it is within some limit.
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, it is the parents's responsibility they take care of their
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and put them in some sports which will make them healthy and strong mentally and physically.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the clarity and connection of ideas in each paragraph. For example, ensure that transitions between ideas are smoother and more logical to enhance understanding.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. For instance, you could include statistics or studies related to the impact of gaming on children's health.
task achievement
Consider expanding your conclusion to summarize the key points made in the body of the essay more thoroughly, reinforcing your argument.
task achievement
The essay presents relevant ideas and points about the negative impact of excessive gaming on children.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is generally clear, with a logical flow from introduction to conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • allure
  • captivate
  • supervise
  • accessible
  • scarcity
  • safer alternative
  • peer pressure
  • educational tools
  • cognitive skills
  • implications
  • obesity
  • poor posture
  • hand-eye coordination
  • problem-solving abilities
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