some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both these views and give yourown opinion.

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Nowadays,
migration
Correct article usage
the migration
show examples
of many professionals in the
countries
where
people
receive their training has been a major issue in many parts of the world. Some
people
would suggest that employees should be demanded to
work
in these
countries
,
while
others argue that workers do not have to get a job in the
nations
.
This
essay will discuss
this
phenomenon from both perspectives, and I support the latter view.
This
is because that seems a reasonable idea compared to the opposite viewpoint. On the one hand, there are some grounds to support the view that workers have to be required to
work
in the
countries
where they acquired specific skills.
To begin
with, the
nations
might expect to get several professionals
such
as doctors and engineers who might help to develop national power.
For
this
reason, most
countries
support specialised technique
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
and scholarships to
people
.
For instance
, even though a great number of scholarships are comprised by tax,
nations
are willing to offer these conditions because of skilled human resources.
Therefore
, if
people
who learned expertise
abilities
Correct word choice
and abilities
show examples
leave the
countries
, these
nations
lose human resources which is a nation's loss.
On the other hand
, I am of the opinion that choosing the workplace is a personal choice.
Firstly
, humans have a right that they can decide to location where they want to
work
.
In other words
, the
countries
should not force employees to
work
in their
countries
. For illustrate,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if other
countries
offer well-paid
work
conditions to job seekers, they would decide to move to those places. Not only it is an inevitable choice, but
also
the reason that they were educated
professional
Change preposition
in professional
show examples
skills. In short, students should be determined to workplaces where they can be provided the better conditions
such
as
salarlies
Correct your spelling
salaries
, promotion opportunities, and appreciation. In conclusion, it is not a clear-cut issue as there are pros and cons to both sides.
Although
I believe that choosing the place where
people
get their permanent jobs is their own right and choice, it is necessary to weigh up
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
and disadvantages before making a decision.
Submitted by kimjy3329 on

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task achievement
To achieve a higher band score, focus on developing your ideas more thoroughly. Try to provide more specific examples and deeper analysis for each point discussed.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph builds on the previous one, using linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear and balanced discussion of both perspectives, which is essential for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for your discussion, and the conclusion nicely summarizes your main points.
coherence cohesion
Your logical structure is sound, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory service
  • skill shortages
  • societal welfare
  • exchange of knowledge
  • global advancements
  • diverse experiences
  • career development prospects
  • personal satisfaction
  • feeling trapped
  • productivity
  • innovation
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