Many feel that the common educational system of teachers and students in a classroom will be replaced by the year 2050. Do you agree with this view? Give your opinion.

The conventional method
invloving
Correct your spelling
involving
teachers and
students
is
an
Change the article
a
show examples
ubiquitous form of teaching across the globe.
While
some people believe that school training is an essential way to educate
children
,
majority
Add an article
the majority
show examples
are of the opinion
this
system will be substituted by modern approaches
such
as
onlineschooling
Correct your spelling
online schooling
in the forthcoming years.In my opinion,
both
these systems will prevail irrespective of the
fast moving
Add a hyphen
fast-moving
show examples
technological advancements. Classroom learning which involves
physical
Correct article usage
the physical
show examples
presence of teachers and
students
has become an integral part of our society since
19th
Correct article usage
the 19th
show examples
century.
This
method helps
students
to get
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
attentive training because teachers can watch over their pupils and can give them proper guidance to overcome their weaknesses.
In addition
, in-school training allows
students
to interact with other kids of the same age which results in the
overall
deveopment
Correct your spelling
development
of a person
both
mentally and socially.
For example
, a survey conducted in Europe says that 90% of the
students
who attended the school exhibited great interpersonal skills when compared to others who
have
Verb problem
did
show examples
not.
Therefore
,
conventional
Add an article
the conventional
a conventional
show examples
method of sending
children
to a school is crucial in the growing phase of a child.
On the contrary
, online schooling is becoming increasingly popular in certain parts of the world. Parents believe that
children
can be educated through various means of training which is now immensely available in the online world.
Furthermore
,
both
parents and
children
can feel more relaxed as
this
type of learning offers flexibility and convenience.
For example
, many software
proffessionals
Correct your spelling
professionals
in
Newzealand
Correct your spelling
New Zealand
show examples
currently choose online schooling in order to attain work-life balance. Studies
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
that online
students
consistently
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
excellent
performanace
Correct your spelling
performance
in academics
whereas
they
failed
Wrong verb form
fail
show examples
to perform in extra-curricular activities
such
as debate, elocution etc. In summary, online schooling is not at all a bad perspective for those who are keen to excel in academic studies. Traditional schooling is quite common even in today's world,
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
modern ways of teaching
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
also
gaining its attention.
Although
both
these methods are effective, in my opinion, the coming years will witness the
join
Correct your spelling
joint
show examples
venture of online
as well as
offline learning systems.
Submitted by gloriasherin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to elaborate more on the advantages and disadvantages of online schooling to provide a more balanced and detailed view.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread for spelling errors (e.g., 'invloving' should be 'involving' and 'Newzealand' should be 'New Zealand') and grammatical inaccuracies for a more professional presentation.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied sentence structures to enhance readability and keep the essay engaging.
structure
Your essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your arguments, which strengthens the effectiveness of your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • artificial intelligence (AI)
  • machine learning
  • online learning platforms
  • virtual reality (VR)
  • personalized AI tutors
  • tailored educational experiences
  • human interaction
  • mentor
  • inspire
  • psychological needs
  • group discussions
  • teamwork
  • social aspects of learning
  • critical life skills
  • digital-only format
  • hybrid model
  • educational accessibility
  • personalization
  • facilitating learning
  • curiosity
  • innovation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: