IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Men and Women have different qualities. Therefore, some people think that some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. To what extent do you agree?

#men #women #qualities #people #jobs
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Some individuals believe that males and
females
Use synonyms
 have different qualities, some certain works are preferable for males and some works are suitable for
females
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay strongly agrees with that statement because
men
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 and
women
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 have different
abilities
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 to
work
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 and both of them learn different
things
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 from their earlier age. First and foremost,
men
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 and
women
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 prefer working in different works because they have different
abilities
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 to
work
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. Many
men
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 have a good body which can help to
work
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 numerous times,
while
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 many
women
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 do not have it at all. It means that
women
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 cannot
work
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 in jobs where physical
abilities
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 are important.
For instance
Linking Words
, scientific research where written about jobs
such
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 as miners. In that research, scholars found that miners should have good bodies to dig caves, which is hard for
females
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, nowadays many people are unique because they learn different
things
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 from their birth. Because of
this
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,
men
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 and
women
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work
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 in different jobs, where people need different skills. The prime example of
this
Linking Words
 is the research which shows that 75% of all
women
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 in the world learn how to do basic
things
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 in the kitchen from an earlier age,
such
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 as cooking,
while
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 75% of all
men
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 in the world do not know how to do that. In conclusion, after having weighed everything mentioned, it can be said that companies or workplaces want to put males and
females
Use synonyms
 in different positions because
men
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 and
women
Use synonyms
 have different
abilities
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 which can affect
work
Use synonyms
 and both genders learn different
things
Use synonyms
 from an earlier age.
Submitted by Кожадаргулов on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the logical structure of your essay. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
Task Achievement
Try to expand on your ideas with more complex examples and explanations. Adding depth to your points will make your essay more comprehensive.
Task Achievement
Be careful with vocabulary and grammar in some places to ensure clarity and precision in expressing your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the central argument neatly.
Task Achievement
The essay offers a complete response to the prompt by addressing the key aspects of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay maintains a consistent perspective throughout, which enhances the coherence of your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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