People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
The debate surrounding whether
individuals
who lead unhealthy lifestyles
and have poor diets should pay more for healthcare
is a contentious one. I strongly believe that these individuals
should be responsible for greater financial responsibility for their healthcare
.
Firstly
, charging higher healthcare
costs
to those who engage in unhealthy behaviors
serves as a preventative measure. By making unhealthy Change the spelling
behaviours
lifestyles
more financially burdensome, individuals
may be more inclined to adopt healthier habits. For example
, if someone knows that smoking or consuming excessive junk food will lead to higher medical bills, they might be motivated to quit smoking or improve their diet.
Secondly
, it is crucial to discourage the notion that one can be complacent about their health because of the availability of subsidies. By imposing higher healthcare
costs
on those who neglect their health, we reinforce the importance of personal responsibility. This
approach
ensures that individuals
understand the consequences of their actions and encourages them to take better care of themselves, thus
fostering a more health-conscious society.
However
, it is essential to balance this
approach
with support and education. Higher healthcare
costs
should be accompanied by accessible programs that help individuals
make healthier choices. Providing resources such
as nutritional counseling, fitness programs, and smoking cessation support can empower people to improve their lifestyles
. This
dual approach
of financial deterrents and supportive measures can effectively address the root causes of unhealthy living while
promoting long-term health benefits.
In conclusion, individuals
who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles
and poor diets should indeed pay more for healthcare
. Coupled with
preventive and supportive measures, this
approach
can lead to a healthier population and reduced healthcare
costs
in the future.Submitted by ieltsamiedu on
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task achievement
To further enhance the essay, you could delve deeper into specific examples or case studies that illustrate the effectiveness of financial deterrents and supportive measures in encouraging healthier lifestyles.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-organized, including clear transition words and phrases between paragraphs would improve the flow and make the argument easier to follow.
task achievement
To add more depth, consider examining potential counterarguments and addressing them thoughtfully, which would demonstrate a well-rounded understanding of the issue.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt, effectively addressing the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-defined, providing a strong framework for the main argument.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-supported with logical reasoning, making the argument convincing and coherent.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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