People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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The debate surrounding whether
individuals
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who lead unhealthy
lifestyles
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and have poor diets should pay more for
healthcare
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is a contentious one. I strongly believe that these
individuals
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should be responsible for greater financial responsibility for their
healthcare
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.
Firstly
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, charging higher
healthcare
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costs
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to those who engage in unhealthy
behaviors
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behaviours
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serves as a preventative measure. By making unhealthy
lifestyles
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more financially burdensome,
individuals
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may be more inclined to adopt healthier habits.
For example
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, if someone knows that smoking or consuming excessive junk food will lead to higher medical bills, they might be motivated to quit smoking or improve their diet.
Secondly
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, it is crucial to discourage the notion that one can be complacent about their health because of the availability of subsidies. By imposing higher
healthcare
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costs
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on those who neglect their health, we reinforce the importance of personal responsibility.
This
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approach
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ensures that
individuals
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understand the consequences of their actions and encourages them to take better care of themselves,
thus
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fostering a more health-conscious society.
However
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, it is essential to balance
this
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approach
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with support and education. Higher
healthcare
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costs
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should be accompanied by accessible programs that help
individuals
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make healthier choices. Providing resources
such
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as nutritional counseling, fitness programs, and smoking cessation support can empower people to improve their
lifestyles
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.
This
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dual
approach
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of financial deterrents and supportive measures can effectively address the root causes of unhealthy living
while
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promoting long-term health benefits. In conclusion,
individuals
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who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy
lifestyles
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and poor diets should indeed pay more for
healthcare
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.
Coupled with
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preventive and supportive measures,
this
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approach
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can lead to a healthier population and reduced
healthcare
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costs
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in the future.
Submitted by ieltsamiedu on

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task achievement
To further enhance the essay, you could delve deeper into specific examples or case studies that illustrate the effectiveness of financial deterrents and supportive measures in encouraging healthier lifestyles.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-organized, including clear transition words and phrases between paragraphs would improve the flow and make the argument easier to follow.
task achievement
To add more depth, consider examining potential counterarguments and addressing them thoughtfully, which would demonstrate a well-rounded understanding of the issue.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt, effectively addressing the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-defined, providing a strong framework for the main argument.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-supported with logical reasoning, making the argument convincing and coherent.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • burden
  • lifestyle-related diseases
  • healthcare systems
  • personal responsibility
  • preventable diseases
  • healthcare costs
  • ethical considerations
  • penalizing
  • discrimination
  • socio-economic groups
  • deterrent
  • health education
  • financial penalties
  • health inequalities
  • access to healthcare
  • preventive medicine
  • public health goals
  • promoting healthy lifestyles
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