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Band 6.5

Some people think that cars are the best way to travel in a city, while others think that bicycle is better. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion

#people #cars #travel #city #bicycle #points
There is a great debate between auto and bicycle is the best mode of transportation to
travel
 in a city. Some advocate for the convenience and comfort of cars,
while
 some champion the ecological and health benefits of bicycles. I prefer to
movement
Replace the word
move
show examples
 by car because it is a more relaxing way for me to enjoy the urban ride experience. Cars provide undeniable advantages in urban driving. They offer convenience, allowing individuals to reach destinations faster and carry heavy loads.
Also
, providing a comfortable and sheltered environment from adverse weather conditions.
Additionally
, trucks can accommodate multiple passengers which makes them more suitable for family trips.
For example
, people in Hong Kong love to visit Japan as a family trip because it is very easy and convenient to trip within the city by limousine. Bicycles ,
on the other hand
, a very environmentally friendly, they emit zero greenhouse gases.
Furthermore
, it is more cost friendly requiring no fuel expense and minimal maintenance cost. They
also
 promote physical health, as cycling serves as one of the excellent exercises that can improve cardiovascular health.
For instance
, Taiwan is famous for its “cycling tour” along its coastline,
governments
Correct word choice
and governments
show examples
 invested a lot of money to promote and attract tourists to join
this
 “one of the best cycling tours in the world”. In conclusion,
while
 bicycles can provide more healthy and eco-friendly urban
travel
 experiences
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
travel
 experiences, I personally prefer to
travel
 by car, which can give me a more convenient and comfortable experience to enjoy my time with my family.
Submitted by praveenmodi28596 on

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task achievement
Clarify the thesis statement in the introduction to reflect a balanced discussion of both views before stating your preference.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph structure by separating the example sentences from the main argument for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure grammatical accuracy and correct minor errors, such as 'auto' instead of 'car', and correct usages such as 'a very environmentally friendly' to 'are very environmentally friendly'.
task achievement
The essay successfully presents both points of view and provides relevant examples to support each argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a clear and logical flow, with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The examples provided are specific and relevant to the arguments, showcasing practical knowledge and making the points more credible.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenient
  • inclement weather
  • heavy loads
  • environmentally friendly
  • promote physical health
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution
  • cost-effective
  • fuel costs
  • parking fees
  • comfort
  • safety
  • poorly developed infrastructure
  • traffic jams
  • parking options
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