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Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantges?

#people #lives #disadvantges
It is observed that some individuals love to devote most of their time to the
place
 where they cried first in their lives.
Additionally
, there can be certain reasons behind
this
. In
this
 essay, I will justify the causes of
this
 situation and I think the benefits are more than drawbacks.
To begin
 with the possible causes, the first and foremost is that some individuals intend to keep their memories alive.
For instance
, when they live at their birthplaces
then
 that not only realises them about their precise time of life but
also
 makes them feel better.
Therefore
, to live happily and to refresh their childhood, they prefer to live there.
Moreover
, they
also
 get a chance to meet with their childhood friends every day.
Furthermore
, there are some advantages to
this
 thing. First of all, living in the same
place
 makes them contribute to society in a positive way.
For example
, when they live in the same
place
quite
Change preposition
for quite
show examples
 a
while
, it helps them to realize what are the things that can be changed to serve better people. Take the example of a famous singer of North India Sidhu Mosse Wala,
although
 he was the most famous singer, he used to live where he was born.
Whereas
 most singers in the Northern part of India move to foreign countries for their safety, he was a
a
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
different man than others because he wanted to spend his money on that
place
 to make it better, as he was living there, he knew better what is good or bad.
However
, despite having advantages, there are certain drawbacks.
Firstly
, there is a concern about safety. As I mentioned above, though Sidhu Moose Wala used to live in his own
place
, he was murdered because of that reason. Since everybody knew where he was living, there was less privacy. In conclusion, even though living in the same
place
 is good, one should not neglect the cons of
this
 thing.
Submitted by simranjot0002 on

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coherence and cohesion
Work on improving your logical structure. Ensure that your sentences and paragraphs flow smoothly from one to the next. This might involve using more linking words or phrases to connect your ideas better.
task achievement
While your response addresses the task, try to delve deeper into your points with more detailed examples and explanations. This will make your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.
task achievement
Your essay provides relevant specific examples, which help illustrate your points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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