IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that cars are the best way to travel in a city, while others think that bicycle is better. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

#people #cars #travel #city #bicycle #points
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Transportation is
one
Use synonyms
 of the most considerable factors when
people
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travel
Use synonyms
, and some believe that the best choice to reach a
city
Use synonyms
 is driving
cars
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while
Linking Words
 others claim riding
Use synonyms
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
 should be the
way
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. In my point of view,
Use synonyms
bicycle
Add an article
the bicycle
a bicycle
show examples
 is basically
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 option than
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cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
show examples
 even though it totally depends on
Correct article usage
the situations
show examples
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
show examples
. On the
one
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 hand, the price of
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bicycle
Add an article
a bicycle
show examples
 allows numerous individuals to purchase it,
thus
Linking Words
 it is effortless for them to have
one
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. As an example, when
people
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 have a trip
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a
city
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 with a huge group, more than
one
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 car is required to
travel
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them
Change preposition
with them
show examples
 at once, which means that the
travel
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 fee becomes expensive.
In contrast
Linking Words
, riding
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bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
 definitely reduces the cost,
additionally
Linking Words
, they can ride it even
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a large community since everyone owns it.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
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bicycle
Add an article
the bicycle
a bicycle
show examples
 is an effective
way
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 to
travel
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 in an urban area because of its
affodability
Correct your spelling
affordability
 and price, and I support
this
Linking Words
 opinion.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
cars
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 are
effective
Add an article
an effective
show examples
way
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 to trip
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
downtown
have
Correct word choice
and have
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its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own profits especially when the weather is extremely cold or hot.
For instance
Linking Words
, London, which is
one
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 of the most well-known
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city
Change to a plural noun
cities
show examples
 in the world, is typically so cold compared to other famous
cites
Correct your spelling
cities
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 circumstance,
people
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 would not want to drive a car
instead
Linking Words
 of
ride
Wrong verb form
riding
show examples
Use synonyms
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
 since they can manipulate the temperature inside of their
cars
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, under the extreme
wheather
Correct your spelling
weather
, driving a car is the best
way
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 of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
city
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 driving
auto mobiles
Correct your spelling
automobiles
show examples
 is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 excellent
way
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 some specific occasions, the merit of
Use synonyms
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
 mainly outweighs that of
cars
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.
Hence
Linking Words
, I personally argue that riding
Use synonyms
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
 is the best choice when
people
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 have a trip in a
city
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ryoga17.0325 on

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task achievement
Expand on the idea of affordability and how bicycles can be more eco-friendly and promote health benefits.
task achievement
Develop the argument related to weather conditions further and include more examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that transitions between paragraphs are smoother and link ideas logically from one paragraph to the next.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states both viewpoints and the writer's opinion.
supported main points
The essay covers both perspectives and provides examples to support each point.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively restates the writer's opinion and reinforces the main points discussed in the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenient
  • inclement weather
  • heavy loads
  • environmentally friendly
  • promote physical health
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution
  • cost-effective
  • fuel costs
  • parking fees
  • comfort
  • safety
  • poorly developed infrastructure
  • traffic jams
  • parking options
What to do next:
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