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Band 5.5

In order to learn a language well, we should also learn about the country as well as the cultures and lifestyle of the people who speak the language. To what extent do you agree or disagree to the statement.

#language #country #cultures #lifestyle #people
As we are living in a flat world nowadays,
people
 seek to learn new
languages
 on a daily basis. Many believe that to master a foreign language,
one
 should
also
 get familiar with the original place
as well as
 the
local's
Change noun form
local
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 ways of living and traditions. In my opinion, I believe that seeing beyond the words is important, as it is the nation and its
people
 who make the language lively.
Fron
Correct your spelling
From
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 the ancient time,
languages
 were invented to communicate the thoughts and events that took place in daily
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
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. The words used by each language describe the experiences and ideas that are unique to the culture.
For example
, in Asian cultures,
people
 use different
title
Fix the agreement mistake
titles
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 to address others based on their ages in a conversation . It is totally unfamiliar
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Western
people
 as they only have I and you.
Hence
, if
one
 did not know the difference, they would find it challenging to understand the use of those words.
Moreover
, the sole purpose of learning new
languages
 would be the ability to communicate with
one
 another. In order to strike a deep and meaningful conversation,
one
 should understand the others'
bacgrounds
Correct your spelling
backgrounds
background
 and where they come from, as it would help to tear apart the awkward barrier between two strangers, allowing us to reach deep down and touch the others' souls to form the purest connection. In a nutshell, on the journey to
be achieve
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achieve
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languages
Change the noun form
language
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 proficiency, it is fundamental for individuals to furnish themselves with
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 about the different cultures and mindsets of the
people
 who speak the
languages
 as their mother tongues.
Submitted by kimtruong270192 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task well and presents clear arguments. However, try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you can mention specific cultural practices or idiomatic expressions that highlight the importance of understanding culture for language learning.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Using linking phrases such as ‘Furthermore’, ‘In addition’, or ‘Moreover’ can help achieve this.
general
Review and correct small grammatical errors, such as ‘From the ancient time’ (should be ‘From ancient times’) and 'knowledges’ (should be ‘knowledge’). These small corrections can make your writing more polished.
introduction conclusion
The introduction effectively sets up the topic and states the writer's position clearly, which is crucial for a strong essay.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion nicely wraps up the main points and reiterates the importance of understanding culture in language learning.
logical structure
The main points in each paragraph are generally well-supported, and the overall structure of the essay is logical and easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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