IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In order to learn a language well, we should also learn about the country as well as the cultures and lifestyle of the people who speak the language. To what extent do you agree or disagree to the statement.

#language #country #cultures #lifestyle #people
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As we are living in a flat world nowadays,
people
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 seek to learn new
languages
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 on a daily basis. Many believe that to master a foreign language,
one
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 should
also
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 get familiar with the original place
as well as
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 the
local's
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local
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 ways of living and traditions. In my opinion, I believe that seeing beyond the words is important, as it is the nation and its
people
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 who make the language lively.
Fron
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From
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 the ancient time,
languages
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 were invented to communicate the thoughts and events that took place in daily
lives
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life
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. The words used by each language describe the experiences and ideas that are unique to the culture.
For example
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, in Asian cultures,
people
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 use different
title
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titles
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 to address others based on their ages in a conversation . It is totally unfamiliar
for
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to
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 Western
people
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 as they only have I and you.
Hence
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, if
one
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 did not know the difference, they would find it challenging to understand the use of those words.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the sole purpose of learning new
languages
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 would be the ability to communicate with
one
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 another. In order to strike a deep and meaningful conversation,
one
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 should understand the others'
bacgrounds
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backgrounds
background
 and where they come from, as it would help to tear apart the awkward barrier between two strangers, allowing us to reach deep down and touch the others' souls to form the purest connection. In a nutshell, on the journey to
be achieve
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achieve
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languages
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language
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 proficiency, it is fundamental for individuals to furnish themselves with
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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 about the different cultures and mindsets of the
people
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 who speak the
languages
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 as their mother tongues.
Submitted by kimtruong270192 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task well and presents clear arguments. However, try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you can mention specific cultural practices or idiomatic expressions that highlight the importance of understanding culture for language learning.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Using linking phrases such as ‘Furthermore’, ‘In addition’, or ‘Moreover’ can help achieve this.
general
Review and correct small grammatical errors, such as ‘From the ancient time’ (should be ‘From ancient times’) and 'knowledges’ (should be ‘knowledge’). These small corrections can make your writing more polished.
introduction conclusion
The introduction effectively sets up the topic and states the writer's position clearly, which is crucial for a strong essay.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion nicely wraps up the main points and reiterates the importance of understanding culture in language learning.
logical structure
The main points in each paragraph are generally well-supported, and the overall structure of the essay is logical and easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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