IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, numerous universities have provided alternative face-to-face learning on
campus
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 which is called online courses. In my opinion, I strongly believe
this
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 development generates a great improvement.
To begin
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 with, offline learning obligates the
students
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 to come to
campus
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 every day and sometimes it takes a long
time
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 of preparation to commute, and
this
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 condition can lead to loss of focus and a waste of energy.
For example
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, the survey conducted by KampusMerdeka, a student community in Indonesia, states that more than 70% of
students
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 who take classes on
campus
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 are having commuting problems because of the distance.
Furthermore
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, most of them said that they have to wake up earlier
,
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apply
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 and prepare everything, and the worst part is that when they travel by public transportation, it is overcrowded because the
time
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 they go is the same as people who are coming to the office.
As a result
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, many of them suffer and when they arrive at
campus
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, they feel exhausted and the spirit to study is decreased. If the university implies online classes, the
students
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 will feel pleasant because it will reduce the effort and
also
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 save more
time
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.
On the other hand
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, by having an online learning system,
students
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 can have more
time
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 to explore beneficial things
besides
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 studying.
For instance
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, Belinda Azzahra, the most outstanding student at the University of Indonesia, tells her story about how she can get a lot of internship opportunities during online studies. She said that she studies from morning to noon, and after lunch, until evening she starts working as an intern. Fortunately, the internship itself was
also
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 conducted remotely, so she could spare her
time
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 efficiently.
In addition
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, after completing several internship experiences
while
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also
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 studying, before graduating, she gets many job offers from various companies.
To sum up
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, online courses are undoubtedly a perfect alternative way for in-class learning. The benefits themselves are useful for
students
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 in order to be
time
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-efficiency, reduce cost and energy, and motivate
students
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 to take steps to explore their passion and talent.

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task response
Remember to maintain a balance in your essay by discussing both sides of the argument, regardless of your position. This will strengthen your essay by demonstrating your ability to consider and articulate multiple perspectives.
coherence and cohesion
To further improve coherence and cohesion, consider varying your transitional phrases more to guide the reader through your arguments. Although your essay is well-structured, a greater variety of transitions can enhance readability and flow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexibility
  • accessibility
  • tuition fees
  • commuting
  • accommodation
  • multimedia
  • interactive tools
  • enhance
  • cater to
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personalized attention
  • complex concepts
  • motivation
  • discipline
  • structure
  • extracurricular activities
  • networking
  • university experience
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