IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#argue #music #individuals #stress #anxiety
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
music
 plays an indispensable role in our lives.
While
 it helps people entertain and improve concentration, I agree the most prominent use of melody is diminishing pressure and other mental health problems. When it comes to
music
, most would agree that relates directly to lifting one's mood. When people listen to a beautiful, meaningful and positive song
such
 as "What Makes You Beautiful' or "Ido" they are lifted by the lyrics.
As a result
, humans can transform ordinary life into an entangled experience.
On the other hand
, topics may negatively affect one's actions. To cite an instance, when a singer sings about loss and addiction, they may have some negative thinking, imitate crimes and greater understanding of the darkest elements of the human condition. It is obvious that
music
 is an emotional healing;
hence
, that melody is primarily used to unwind people’s minds.
Moreover
, students and workers on their travel and after a long day listen to singing to forget about their anxieties and tiredness. Teenagers in the present time are the best
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
 of
this
 phenomenon because they always choose a suitable song that fits their feelings behind several stressful situations.
In addition
, scientific research has shown that listening to any type of song results in reduced blood pressure and lower stress levels.
Furthermore
, listening to soft harmony during the process of working can significantly raise concentration and deep thinking.
Finally
, the melody is
also
 used at lots of parties as a way to celebrate and have fun. In conclusion,
music
 is one way of relaxing for many people. I would confirm that it is the most vital method to improve their feeling and is still good for all ages to enjoy.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
Your essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, ensure that all main ideas are supported evenly throughout the essay to maintain coherence and cohesion.
task response
Your task response is accurate and addresses the prompt effectively. Nevertheless, refine your examples to be more specific and varied, which will add depth to your arguments.
coherence
Your introduction is effective and sets the stage well for the essay.
coherence
You have a clear conclusion that wraps up the essay nicely.
task response
The task response addresses the prompt, and you've deployed some good examples to illustrate your points.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: