More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. (What are the reasons for this?, What can be done to solve this problem?) Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Well, there are many reasons why animals become extinct or enter
this
extensive list, here we will talk about some of them.
I think that one of the problems causing them to become extinct is humanity. We as humans cause this
by destroying their habitat, where they live, or poor care of the environment in general. Some other reasons may be due to
the lack of love towards Mother Earth, since sometimes when we go to the countryside or are outdoors where there is a lot of vegetation we start lighting bonfires, or maybe cutting trees, and by doing those things we cause a total disorder in what is the balance of life.
Another reason is global warming, since due to
these changes in the climate, certain places around the world are deteriorating, For example
, the North Pole, due to
global warming, the ice at the North Pole is disappearing and melting to the point that in a couple of time there will no longer be any ice there. Another reason for the hunting that is
done, as I said at the beginning, the
main threat and cause of the spread of these animals, is us as humans, Add a missing verb
is the
although
we ourselves aren't
the ones who hunt, we don't
raise awareness so that they no longer do it, as much as those people like us have the blame.
In my opinion, to solve all this
or find a way so that more of these animals don't
become extinct, is to raise awareness among people, Also
that we're aware of what we're doing, at the end
of the day, they aren't
to blame nor do they deserve that their habitats are destroyed, or that due to
hunting there are no more of that species. Only we can stop or at least reduce the number of extinct species, why we also
have to know that it is something natural, but not making it common.Submitted by ismael.222sr on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions between ideas. For instance, use phrases like 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' and 'Furthermore.'
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and include topic sentences to make your points clearer. This will help enhance task response and coherence.
task achievement
Try to use more specific and varied examples to support your points. For instance, mentioning specific conservation programs or laws that have been successful in protecting endangered species.
task achievement
The essay provides a well-rounded discussion of various reasons for animal extinction, including human activity, environmental degradation, and global warming.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present, and the essay attempts to address the topic comprehensively.
task achievement
The essay uses some relevant examples to support its points, for instance, the melting of ice at the North Pole due to global warming.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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