IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today's society provides people with various ways to lose weight, such as special diets or exercise regimes. Many people believe though that poor food and today's lifestyle should be addressed first. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays many people have weight problems. And they try some diet programs. In my
opinion
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opinion,
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 healthy food is very important for a healthy
life
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. First of all, If you want
healthy
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a healthy
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life
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. You
careful
Add a missing verb
be careful
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to
Change preposition
in
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kitchen
Add an article
the kitchen
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 and do some
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
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.
Furthermore
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, you know your
body
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 type. Some people haven'
t
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 rice, meat or protein intolerance. If you know your
body
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 type you can eat the right food.
As a result
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 of
this
Linking Words
, your digestive system works well.
Linking Words
Moreover
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Moreover,
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 sports are very important for
healthy
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a healthy
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life
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. All people have to do sports or walk daily.
Such
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 as, if don'
t
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 move your
body
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 gains weight. Moving is very important for losing weight. Nowadays everywhere gym complex and
montly
Correct your spelling
monthly
 fees are very low. You can be a member of the gym or you can work out at home. The YouTube has many professional workout programs. Just look in front of the mirror
then
Linking Words
 you can see your
body
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 and listen to your inner voice. Your
body
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 will tell you something. In summary, I really want to healthy lifestyle but I can'
t
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 do that. Because I have many responsibilities and I can'
t
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enough
Add a missing verb
have enough
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 time for a workout. By the way, I have a son, he is 6 years old. He has to eat carbohydrates, meat, eggs etc. I cooked meals daily and I ate with my son. If I ate different kinds of food and he
wants
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wanted
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 to same plate.
In contrast
Linking Words
to
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apply
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he needs carbohydrates. I have to change the kitchen style and quickly start working. I'm almost 40 years old. It's time to start paying attention to my
life
Use synonyms

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task achievement
Try to expand your arguments and provide more detailed explanations to strengthen your points. For instance, elaborating on how knowing your body type can affect diet choices would make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in verb tenses and grammatical structures. This would make your writing smoother and easier to follow. For example, 'If don't move your body gains weight.' could be revised to 'If you don't move, your body gains weight.'
coherence cohesion
Include a clearer and more comprehensive introduction and conclusion. This will provide better structure to your essay and help in summarizing your main points effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing the importance of both diet and exercise in maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
task achievement
The essay provides personal examples which make the argument more relatable and authentic, such as the example involving your son.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • root cause
  • special diets
  • exercise regimes
  • temporary solutions
  • processed foods
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • active living conditions
  • sustainable weight loss
  • quick fixes
  • whole, unprocessed foods
  • long-term health benefits
  • incorporating regular physical activity
  • education and awareness
  • informed choices
What to do next:
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