Today's society provides people with various ways to lose weight, such as special diets or exercise regimes. Many people believe though that poor food and today's lifestyle should be addressed first. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
Nowadays many people have weight problems. And they try some diet programs.
In my
opinion
healthy food is very important for a healthy Add a comma
opinion,
life
.
First of all, If you want healthy
Add an article
a healthy
life
. You careful
Add a missing verb
be careful
to
Change preposition
in
kitchen
and do some Add an article
the kitchen
activity
. Fix the agreement mistake
activities
Furthermore
, you know your body
type. Some people haven't
rice, meat or protein intolerance. If you know your body
type you can eat the right food. As a result
of this
, your digestive system works well.
Moreover
sports are very important for Add a comma
Moreover,
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
life
. All people have to do sports or walk daily. Such
as, if don't
move your body
gains weight. Moving is very important for losing weight. Nowadays everywhere gym complex and montly
fees are very low. You can be a member of the gym or you can work out at home. The YouTube has many professional workout programs. Just look in front of the mirror Correct your spelling
monthly
then
you can see your body
and listen to your inner voice. Your body
will tell you something.
In summary, I really want to healthy lifestyle but I can't
do that. Because I have many responsibilities and I can't
enough
time for a workout. By the way, I have a son, he is 6 years old. He has to eat carbohydrates, meat, eggs etc. I cooked meals daily and I ate with my son. If I ate different kinds of food and he Add a missing verb
have enough
wants
to same plate. Wrong verb form
wanted
In contrast
to
he needs carbohydrates. I have to change the kitchen style and quickly start working. I'm almost 40 years old. It's time to start paying attention to my Change preposition
apply
life
Submitted by oguzozgurugur on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Try to expand your arguments and provide more detailed explanations to strengthen your points. For instance, elaborating on how knowing your body type can affect diet choices would make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in verb tenses and grammatical structures. This would make your writing smoother and easier to follow. For example, 'If don't move your body gains weight.' could be revised to 'If you don't move, your body gains weight.'
coherence cohesion
Include a clearer and more comprehensive introduction and conclusion. This will provide better structure to your essay and help in summarizing your main points effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing the importance of both diet and exercise in maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
task achievement
The essay provides personal examples which make the argument more relatable and authentic, such as the example involving your son.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!