IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about population in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The table below gives information about population in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#information #population #australia #malaysia #summarise #features #comparisons
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The given table illustrates the
population
Use synonyms
 between 1980 to 2002 in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, both countries experienced
dramatically
Replace the word
a dramatic
show examples
 increase
Use synonyms
population
Change preposition
in population
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 all these
proportion
Fix the agreement mistake
proportions
show examples
 of male,
female
Correct word choice
and female
show examples
, birth
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 and average annual
population
Use synonyms
 growth in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 remain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
almost the same percentage except
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 aged over 65 which increased significantly. In 1980,
Australia
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 and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 were considered almost the same total
population
Use synonyms
 which
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 14.7
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and 13.7
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 respectively,
while
Linking Words
 it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
climbed to 19.6
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and 24.3
milion
Correct your spelling
million
 in
Malasia
Correct your spelling
Malaysia
 by 2002.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there were male,
female
Correct word choice
and female
show examples
, birth
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 and average annual
population
Use synonyms
 growth which
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
remained stable in both countries around
those period
Change the determiner
that period
those periods
show examples
. Between 19080 to 2002,
Austrail
Correct your spelling
Australia
 and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 experienced almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 proportion of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 around 49% to 50%.
In addition
Linking Words
, the birth rate of these two
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
 was considered declined between
this
Linking Words
 period from 1.5% to 1.3% in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and dropped from 3.2% to 2.2% in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, australia, malaysia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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