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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below show the number of magazines sold per person in five countries in 2003 and 2005, with projected sales for 2007.

The chart below show the number of magazines sold per person in five countries in 2003 and 2005, with projected sales for 2007.
#show #magazines #person #five #countries #sales
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The following bar chart represents the number of
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
unidentified magazines sold per person in five countries in 2003, and 2005, with projected
sales
Use synonyms
 for 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly observed that
overall
Linking Words
 magazine
sales
Use synonyms
 in
country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
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 the highest,
whereas
Linking Words
 that of
in
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 E was the lowest
thoughout
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the given time frame.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the fall of magazines' popularity can be found
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2005 to 2007 in
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 A,
B
Use synonyms
, and C
evenif
Correct your spelling
even if
 their
sales
Use synonyms
 are over 30
pieces
Use synonyms
 per individual.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 2003 to 2007,
although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
B
Use synonyms
 and C
experience
Wrong verb form
experienced
show examples
 similar figures of
a downward trends
Correct the article-noun agreement
downward trends
a downward trend
show examples
 at an average of slightly below 50 magazines sold per person in
country
Use synonyms
B
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, that of
country
Use synonyms
 C fell down about 10%.
While
Linking Words
 in
country
Use synonyms
 A decline in the same rate of reducing 5
pieces
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 and ending with 38
pieces
Use synonyms
 per person. In regards with, in
country
Use synonyms
 D has
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a contrast trend
contrast trends
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contrast
Replace the word
contrasting
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 trends. The
sales
Use synonyms
 constantly rose about 2-3
sales
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 starting with 18
solds
Correct your spelling
sales
 and reaching its peak at 23
pieces
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it is
intersting
Correct your spelling
interesting
 to note that
of in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 E
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a
fluctuate
Change the form of the verb
fluctuating
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sales
Use synonyms
, though they have the lowest
perchases
Correct your spelling
percentages
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 four nations of less than 10
pieces
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, country, b, pieces with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Trend
  • Increases
  • Decreases
  • Comparison
  • Significant
  • Projected
  • Sales
  • Economy
  • Digital Media
  • Impact
  • Cultural Factors
  • Analysis
  • Future Trends
  • Market Conditions
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