In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In our modern world, the choices made by young people in relation to beginning a career are changing with many university-age populations opting to undertake training in the workplace.
While
this
has numerous benefits for both society and the young, some drawbacks can
also
be observed. Tertiary schooling opens a number of doors to graduates, who tend to have more opportunities as life develops, leading to them potentially feeling more fulfilled by their profession, earning higher salaries and the possibility to
further
their learning through Master’s degrees or Doctorates in the future. Not only can the benefits be felt in increased earning power but
also
in terms of personal development, with graduates having been proven to lead healthier, more fulfilled lives.
However
, a huge advantage for youngsters making the decision to enter the workplace nowadays lies in the diverse range of apprenticeships and vocational training opportunities available. These allow young workers to earn a modest living and receive on-the-job training
while
attending college courses and earning recognised qualifications. In countries in which
such
apprenticeships are not available, young people may be able to fund their own part-time studies by earning a salary.
For example
, the huge increase in the number of call centres in up-and-coming countries could provide a youngster with a stable job
while
undertaking training in other areas, or within the field of technology or marketing.
Furthermore
, organisations which can impart working knowledge to their young workers, moulding and preparing them for future careers, greatly benefit firms and individuals, who will not need to gain practical skills after graduating. Having received
this
on-the-job training, they are
then
in a position to
further
their learning if they choose, or begin to earn a salary as a professional in their field. In conclusion,
although
the merits of a traditional university education are numerous, I believe the benefits of more modern options outweigh them, as they are open to all and enable the young population to gain both the theoretical and practical knowledge necessary to earn a good salary from their chosen profession.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly elaborates on a single idea. While your paragraphs are mostly focused, occasionally they touch on multiple themes which can dilute their impact.
task achievement
Try to provide more varied, concrete examples to strengthen your arguments. Drawing from different countries or specific industries could add depth to your claims.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly sets up the discussion, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.
task achievement
You've provided a balanced view, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of work-based training versus university education.
task achievement
You effectively highlight the growing availability and benefits of apprenticeships and vocational training.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
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