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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Children today spend more time watching television than they did in the ‏past. Describe some of the advantages and disadvantages of television ‏for children. ‏

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There is no denying the fact that
children
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 today spend more
time
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 watching
television
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 than they did in the past.
This
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 essay will discuss some of the advantages and disadvantages of
television
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 for
children
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 and suggest how these issues can be addressed.
To begin
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 with, there are many reasons why
children
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 spending more
time
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 watching
television
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 has become a significant problem.
Firstly
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, one of the main causes of
this
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 issue is the availability of various engaging programs.
This
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 is crucial because it addresses the core issue of
children
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’s entertainment and education.
In other words
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,
television
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 provides a convenient way for
children
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 to access both entertainment and educational content.
In addition
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, the busy lifestyles of parents play a significant role in
this
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 trend because it directly impacts the amount of
time
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children
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 spend unsupervised. In terms of solutions, there are several measures that can be taken. The impact of regulating screen
time
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 on
children
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’s development cannot be underestimated as it influences their physical and mental health significantly. It is
also
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 possible to say that encouraging outdoor activities and hobbies can reduce the
time
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 spent watching
television
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.
Moreover
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, addressing the content quality on
television
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 offers various benefits.
For instance
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, promoting educational programs can enhance learning and provide a positive viewing experience for
children
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. In conclusion, there are many reasons why
children
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 today spend more
time
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 watching
television
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 than they did in the past, primarily
due to
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 the availability of engaging programs and the busy lifestyles of parents.
This
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 issue needs urgent attention to prevent negative impacts on
children
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’s health and development. It is
also
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 true that regulating screen
time
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 and promoting educational content are essential to consider in discussions about the benefits and drawbacks of
television
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 for
children
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 because they provide a foundation for understanding how to optimize the positive effects
while
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 minimizing the negative ones.

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task achievement
It would be beneficial to include more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention a particular educational program that has been beneficial for children, or provide statistical data on screen time impacts.
coherence cohesion
While the logical structure is strong, ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next would enhance the overall cohesion. Consider using more transition words or phrases to connect ideas more fluidly.
task achievement
Make sure each main point is thoroughly developed and connected back to the topic. Sometimes, the ideas seem slightly underdeveloped, which can be improved by adding more detail and explanations.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your essay by clearly stating the issue and what you are going to discuss.
introduction conclusion
Your conclusion successfully wraps up the essay, summarizing the main points and reinforcing your argument.
logical structure
The essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphs focused on different aspects of the topic. This makes it easy to follow your argument.
complete response
You have provided a thorough and complete response to the task, covering both advantages and disadvantages of children watching television.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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