IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people like to do their everyday shopping at large supermarkets. Others want to go to several small stores or local markets to buy what they need. Which style of shopping do you prefer and why? Give reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #supermarkets #stores #markets #style #support
These days, the market is filled with a great variety of different
shops
 - from hypermarkets to corner
shops
 and small local markets, so people decide which store they prefer to shop at regarding both the advantages and drawbacks of the latter. I like online
stores
 because of their convenience but will discuss both sides of the discussion in the following essay.
To begin
 with, all kinds of
stores
 are beneficial for people differently. Supermarkets offer rich assortments of
goods
 and are
opened
Replace the word
open
show examples
 up to 24 hours every day.
In addition
 to that, many of them create a chain offering bonuses and special deals for their loyal
customers
.
Such
 supermarket chains as Lidl and Auchan are extremely popular across the EU for their coupons and points systems that help their
customers
 save going purchasing. With those benefits, supermarkets are inferior to small local
shops
 and markets because of long queues and farther distance from
customers
' homes. Living next to a market full of kiosks is very convenient, especially in the times of special occasions when all large
stores
 are packed up. Despite the great location, small businesses require their
customers
 to pay a higher price
due to
 the fewer numbers of high-quality
goods
 the former offer.
For example
, financials claim that regardless of the overpriced
goods
, not only is small local
shops
' income stable, but it doubles on the eve of
such
 important holidays as Easter, Independence Day and Christmas.
To conclude
, the competition between the hypermarkets and local
shops
 is extremely intense because of the services, location, and
goods
 that influence
customers
' choices. For me, online
stores
 are more modernized and convenient
due to
 their highest variety of
goods
 and services, including home delivery and reviews.
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task achievement
The essay could benefit from a clearer restatement of your preference for online stores. Although it was mentioned in the introduction and conclusion, it felt somewhat detached from the main discussion. Ensuring this connection is consistently made throughout can strengthen your task response.
task achievement
Work on providing more examples to back your points. Specific examples add credibility and depth to your arguments, making your ideas clearer and more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs to help the reader follow your argument more easily. This will enhance the overall flow and coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Revise the essay for minor grammatical errors and typos to improve clarity and readability.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively frame the essay, allowing for a coherent argument overall.
task achievement
Main points are well-supported and logical, which enhances the overall task achievement.
task achievement
Relevant specific examples, like mentioning Lidl and Auchan, help to ground the argument in real-world contexts.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • variety
  • availability
  • economies of scale
  • promotions
  • discounts
  • freshness
  • quality
  • local economy
  • sustain
  • personalized service
  • unique shopping experience
  • vendors
  • engaging
  • cost-effectiveness
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