All over the world, the number of overweight people is growing. What do you feel are the main cause of this? What are the effects?
It is undeniable that
obesity
is significantly increasing globally. In my opinion, an unhealthy lifestyle including an inappropriate Use synonyms
diet
, Use synonyms
stress
and less mobility is the major factor Use synonyms
of
overweighting, which impacts individuals’ Change preposition
in
health
in various ways.
Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
obesity
remarkably Use synonyms
increases
all around the world Wrong verb form
increased
for
several extents, but I think that the unhealthy modern lifestyle is the key. The first and the most common is unhealthy diets. some Change preposition
to
people
overlook their Use synonyms
diet
programs and do not pay attention to their dishes, which Use synonyms
consequently
leads to gain weight. An unhealthy Linking Words
diet
not only includes fast foods Use synonyms
such
as pizza but Linking Words
also
includes disordered eating times. Some individuals skip meals to curb their appetite, Linking Words
whereas
Linking Words
this
causes overeating as the person will be much hungrier later.
Linking Words
Furthermore
, in some individuals, high levels of Linking Words
stress
are related to gaining weight. Many Use synonyms
people
develop their cravings for sugar and fat to counteract their tension. Weight gain even occurs in Use synonyms
people
with healthy diets, as Use synonyms
stress
releases cortisol, a Use synonyms
stress
hormone, which is the reason for abdominal fat in Use synonyms
such
stressful Linking Words
people
. Use synonyms
Moreover
, the result of modernisation is declining in individuals’ mobility which results in fatness. Linking Words
For instance
, nowadays most Linking Words
people
occupy office settings, Use synonyms
while
in the past Linking Words
people
did more practical work.
Admittedly, Use synonyms
obesity
Use synonyms
,
negatively influences individuals’ lives and has a range of chronic well-being issues associated with physical and mental Remove the comma
apply
health
. Use synonyms
Obesity
increases the risk of different diseases Use synonyms
such
as cardiovascular diseases, diabetes and musculoskeletal disorders. Linking Words
In addition
, overweighting not only affects the physical Linking Words
health
of individuals but Use synonyms
also
leads to psychological challenges. obese Linking Words
people
often suffer from low self-esteem, which makes them depressed and anxious in confronting social stigma.
In conclusion, I think an unhealthy lifestyle including, an unhealthy Use synonyms
diet
, stressful life and less activity is the main reason for overweighting which leads to numerous physical and mental Use synonyms
health
, since Use synonyms
people
should consider measures to overcome Use synonyms
this
issue.Linking Words
Submitted by skharratian on
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task achievement
Although the essay addresses the causes and effects of obesity, it could benefit from more specific examples to support the main points. Including examples from studies or statistics could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs. However, improved transitions between points could enhance the flow. Phrases such as 'Additionally' or 'Moreover' might help.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states your opinion, sets the stage for the essay, and provides a brief overview of what will be discussed.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively organized the essay into clear sections, discussing causes first and then effects. This logical progression supports reader understanding.
task achievement
Each paragraph is focused on a single main idea, which helps maintain clarity and coherence throughout the essay.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...