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Band 7

Some people think it is more impỏtant to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #impỏtant #money #roads #motorways #transport #systems #railways #trams
Recent readers indicate that investing in motorways and roads is more essential than public vehicles.
This
 writer completely agrees with the standpoint of enhancing the
quality
 of streets by rebuilding and replacing old traffic signs in order to reduce the drawbacks of transport.
Firstly
, it is vital to understand that motorways are used every day which has a big impact on the vehicles' flow.
Therefore
, the standard of roads should be required strictly. Evidently, streets in urban areas are expanded, more lanes for different kinds of transportation.
As a result
,
this
 policy reduces the traffic jams at rush hour and accidents.
Additionally
, taxes are spent on roads as a way to improve the
quality
 of residential areas. For those who believe that investing in street
quality
 is less important than public transport systems. In large cities, the demand for travelling is considerably high and vehicles
such
 as trains and buses are necessary to avoid congestion.
For instance
, a new metro is being built in Ho Chi Minh City will be a revolution of transport in the next few years which will be cost-effective and convenient.
However
, the cutting-edge system should be conducted after the standard of the motorway is enhanced.
This
 is the reason why developed nations have more up-to-date transportation. Taking everything into account,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments tend to spend money on trams and rails to serve the community, but it cannot be denied that the
quality
 of streets is the primary step for
this
 innovation.
Hence
, rebuilding old-fashioned traffic signs in local areas is crucial.

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coherence cohesion
In order to improve logical structure, try to make your argument flow seamlessly from one point to the next. Make sure each idea logically leads to the next to maintain a clear train of thought.
task achievement
Work on making your main points stronger by providing more detailed explanations and concrete examples that support them. This will enhance the overall depth and clarity of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and effectively summarize the main arguments of your essay, providing a strong framework for your response.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and provides a complete response to the prompt, showing a good understanding of the issue at hand.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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