IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that libraries are a waste of resources and money so computer should replace them. Howevee, others do not agree. Discuss both aides and give your opinion.

#people #libraries #waste #resources #money #computer #howevee #aides
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With the development of computer technology. Digital reading has become a popular way for people to get information, so some people think it is unnecessary to maintain
libraries
Use synonyms
. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view. Because public
libraries
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 play a vital role, and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can not be replaced by computer technology. Public
libraries
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 can not only store books
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 provide a large number of learning resources and services. The
library
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 provides paper books and an electronic database for
readers
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, public
libraries
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also
Linking Words
 carry out knowledge dissemination and book exhibition services for
readers
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. Baoding
Library
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 holds a dissemination about stories for children every Saturday
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and recommends e-books for them. Guide teenagers to read books by telling stories, and
this
Linking Words
 way is a service and guidance that digital platforms cannot substitute. Public
libraries
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 can provide a good reading environment for
readers
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. Every
library
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 requires its
readers
Use synonyms
 to keep quiet in order to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not disturb other
readers
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. so that they can focus on their reading. When you are studying for the test in the
library
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, you will be focused on
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 all day in a quiet environment.
However
Linking Words
, when learning on digital
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
, people are easily influenced by advertisements and news feeds on the web. It is difficult to focus on learning. In conclusion, I think it is necessary to maintain public
libraries
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. Public
libraries
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 cannot be replaced by digital platforms in providing
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
,
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
 and environment. The integration of computer technology and
Use synonyms
library
Correct article usage
the library
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can improve the
library
Use synonyms
's social influence.
Submitted by 876764430 on

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language
Ensure consistent use of articles (e.g., 'a dissemination' should be 'a dissemination event').
grammar
Reduce minor grammatical errors to further enhance clarity (e.g., 'do not disturb' should be 'not disturb').
structure
Consider structuring the essay with clearer paragraph breaks to distinguish between supporting and opposing views.
clarity
The main argument is clear and consistent throughout the essay.
example
Uses a specific example (Baoding Library) to illustrate the point effectively.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the opinion clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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