Nowadays, sports is a big business with high earnings for professional sports people and companies involved both financially and other ways. Is this a positive or negative development for sports?

These days,

sports

Use synonyms

are becoming more and more involved in financial ways.

Sportsmen

Use synonyms

and companies are highly paid.

While

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

development could lead to more motivation from

sportsmen

Use synonyms

's sides, it could

also

Linking Words

result in some disadvantaged situations. On one side, it is true that high salaries for

sports

Use synonyms

are good.

Thus

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, it could stimulate passion and desire for sportspeople to try more and achieve success in their field by receiving first

places

Fix the agreement mistake

place

show examples

in championships and competitions.

As a result

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, it is prestigious for the country and its people too.

For example

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, in Brazil, the whole

sports

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industry is well paid;

consequently

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, the number of winnings in

this

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country in every sport type, namely football and gymnastics, is high.

Therefore

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this

Linking Words

trend has a positive impact in every aspect. On the other side, huge involvement in financial

sports

Use synonyms

could play a negative role.

This

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can become a monopoly

game

Use synonyms

in the

sports

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industry, as

this

Linking Words

is becoming a type of business.

For instance

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, in South Korea,

this

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has already become a monopoly

game

Use synonyms

Instead

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of seeking talents in

this

Linking Words

field, the government hires

sportsmen

Use synonyms

who have any talent in

sports

Use synonyms

In addition

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this

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can lead to a loss of interest in

sports

Use synonyms

. Some people will take part in competitions just in order to earn money, not to win the

game

Use synonyms

Thus

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this

Linking Words

kind of development

also

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has a negative side. In conclusion,

although

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rewarding sportspeople with high salaries will evoke motivation and a desire to win and for better outcomes, too much involvement in financial ways in companies and

sportsmen

Use synonyms

can create a monopoly

game

Use synonyms

May 20, 2024

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task achievement

Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next; consider using more transitional phrases.

task achievement

Expand on your conclusion to reinforce your main points.

task achievement

You've made a clear attempt to discuss both positive and negative aspects of the topic.

coherence cohesion

An introduction and conclusion are present, making the essay well-rounded.

task achievement

You have presented clear ideas and supported them with some examples.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Nowadays, sports is a big business with high earnings for professional sports people and companies involved both financially and other ways. Is this a positive or negative development for sports?

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