Some people say that governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help people prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There have been growing efforts by the governments to improve
people
’s health. Some people
may have claimed that reducing environmental pollution and solving ever-increasing housing problems
will prevent illness
and disease
in society
. However
, personally, I disagree with this
suggestion because there are other factors that can cause illness
and disease
.
Firstly
, illness
and disease
are not affected by pollution and housing problems
. In the past, not only air pollution and dirty water problems
but also
lack of residences were worldwide prevalent problems
. However
, now things have changed, allowing people
to have fresh water with filtration and providing many high-stories flats that can be easily accessible, because of the development of scientific and construction technology. Nevertheless
, modern society
has gone through harsh diseases, I think this
is because there are unexpected disasters which have become burdens to the government. When COVID-19 swept the world world, for instance
, the government could not stop the spread of viruses. Consequently
, even though the governments tried hard to reduce environmental problems
, they couldn't help people
from preventing unexpected virus diseases.
Moreover
, there are other reasons that cause illness
rather than environmental and housing problems
. First,
people
nowadays prefer to eat junk food which is awash with fat, instead
of having healthy nutritious ingredients. Just imagine that hamburger, for instance
, its flavour is stimulated, feeling tastier than healthy food, resulting in influencing people
’s dietary habits negatively. What I am concerned about is that having unhealthy food makes people
struggle with illness
. Additionally
, people
are stressed a lot these days, due largely to heavy workloads, thereby having mental diseases like demotivation and depression. Most workers in Korea, for example
, have complained about being required to do extra work in their workplace. I also
feel worried about it because this
can cause a dark atmosphere in society
in the future. For these reasons, illness
and disease
are derived from other factors in our society
.
In conclusion, although
the governments have tried to solve environmental and housing problems
to prevent people
from illness
, they are wrestling with ongoing problems
that cannot be solved. I firmly believe that they should focus on finding out
other methods to prevent and improve Change preposition
apply
people
’s health.Submitted by kchengii on
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1. Strong conclusion: The essay has a clear and summarizing conclusion that effectively restates your position. 2. Relevant examples: You have used relevant examples like COVID-19 and junk food, which help illustrate your points. 3. Coherence in argument: The essay maintains a coherent argument throughout, making it easy for the reader to follow your points.
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4. Good use of English: Your essay demonstrates a good command of the English language with a variety of vocabulary and sentence structures.
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