IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

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Despite the improvements in the field of producing
food
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 and farming these days, many societies are still hungry
due to
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 the
poverty
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 that a great number of
people
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 all over the world are facing. To address
this
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 problem, using cutting-edge farming machines can be really effective. In recent times,
poverty
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 has been the main reason why many
people
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 are struggling with a lack of
food
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. It is argued that if governments remove
poverty
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 from a country, that place will have no issues in the subject of providing enough
food
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 for its citizens anymore.
This
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 is because
people
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 can just easily buy everything that they want with their cash.
In other words
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, when it comes to the subject of
people
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 who are hungry, it is more about the ability to buy
food
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. Honestly, there are not many hungry
people
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 with a decent amount of cash in their pockets. Turning to the solutions, using cutting-edge farming machines might have a great impact on increasing the amount of
food
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. Traditional ways in agriculture need more effort and
also
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 more time is needed to see the results.
For example
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, the traditional way of harvesting fruits
such
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 as oranges, apples and tangerine take almost a month to finish but with modern harvesting by state-of-the-art machines, it may finished in a couple of days.
To sum up
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, modern farming has a huge effect on increasing the amount of
food
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 produced on farms but still
poverty
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 is the reason why many
people
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 are hungry these days. Eradicating the roots of
poverty
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 may solve
this
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 problem completely.

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task achievement
To attain a higher score, provide more specific examples to support your points, particularly regarding how modern farming techniques can mitigate hunger. This will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all points within a paragraph are directly connected to the main topic sentence for better cohesiveness. This can be achieved by using linking words and phrases appropriately.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in maintaining a coherent flow.
task achievement
You have addressed both parts of the question: the reasons behind hunger despite agricultural advancements and potential solutions.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the comparison between traditional and modern farming methods, helps to illustrate your points effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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