IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?

Some individuals believe that growth in the standard of living in a country usually benefits urban
areas
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 rather than villages. It can cause a lot of problems,
such
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 as increasing poverty in the rural
areas
Use synonyms
. To solve
this
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 problem, the
government
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 of the country should increase the
income
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 of each
person
Use synonyms
 in the village. First and foremost, nowadays a lot of countries have a great standard of living in their
cities
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,
although
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 it
also
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 has an increasing number of poor
people
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 in rural
areas
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.
This
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 is because the
government
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 spend all of their budget on city developments,
while
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 rural
areas
Use synonyms
 do not have the same attention .
For instance
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, countries
such
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 as Kazakhstan, have a lot of good
cities
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, where
people
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 have a good standard of living.
However
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, they
also
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 have villages, where the maximum
income
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 of a
person
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 is much lower than the minimum
income
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 of a
person
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 in
cities
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.
Moreover
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,
this
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 problem can be easily manageable with the right strategies,
such
Linking Words
 as financial support from the
government
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 of the country to increase the
income
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 of each
person
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 from rural
areas
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 and make it similar to the
income
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 of adults from
cities
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. The prime example of
this
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 is countries
such
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 as the USA, where the
government
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 made the average
income
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 of all
people
Use synonyms
 the same. In conclusion, after having weighed everything mentioned , it can be said that the rise in the standard of living benefits
cities
Use synonyms
 rather than rural
areas
Use synonyms
 and can cause problems like an increase in the number of poor
people
Use synonyms
 in villages,
although
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 it can be solved by increasing the
income
Use synonyms
 of each individual in rural
areas
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that both problems and solutions are explored in greater depth. You could provide more specific examples and explore the implications and effectiveness of the suggested solutions in more detail.
coherence cohesion
Enhancing coherence and cohesion can be achieved by using more varied linking words to clearly show relationships between ideas. Ensure that the organization of the essay makes the progression of ideas clear.
coherence cohesion
Solid introduction and conclusion which frame the essay well, giving a clear summary and overview of the topic.
task achievement
The essay addresses the question by discussing both problems and solutions related to the disparity in living standards between urban and rural areas.
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